Tuesday, February 20, 2007
For the 1st time of my life, i'm driven to do spring cleaning for CNY and devoted myself to do spring cleaning for 3 days. My pa's been nagging for days about us neglecting the household, so i really wish he'll be proud of me.
CNY evening, the cleaning's finally done. We just have to sit back and enjoy the new year. But Satan, the scheming devil just have to make my pa spot my cross necklace and question my religion.
I've been trying to prepare myself for this day, but never have i expect it to come on that day. i admitted, and my pa took it very badly. He became extremely hostile the entire 2 day and was blinded by Satan's malice.
I couldn't take it either. I can't bear to deny my Father above, i can't bear to deny my saviour who's been there for me all the time. Even if i could lie, how long can i hide? Just how long? Why? Why must it come at such a time? With all my hard work wasted. i know my pa loves me, but why? Why did he curse and turn me away? Am i such a bad daughter?
I couldn't control my tears when i was at my granny house and cried. My pa got angrier and scolded both Ab and i. I kept praying, praying for a solution, praying for the angels to calm my pa down.
Many of my relatives helped. My christian aunt came into the room and tell me of the 'prosecution' period that she and my another aunt have went through. She cried and i couldn't help and cried again.
After awhile all of us calmed down and the situation got better. Nonetheless there's this huge gap between my pa and i now.
As i'm reading my daily devotionals which i've been neglecting for days now, i realised my Father has actually been preparing me for it.
Romans 8:38-39
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor the future, nor powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is ours in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-37
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
1 John 4:10
This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
My aunt said that i oughta prepare myself for this route when i've decided on my religion for it's going to be a harsh one, or at least in my family. This route... filled with malice and threats from Satan, is my route to my beloved Father. Please my lord, i beg for your grace, love and spirit... Be with me always.
i can't help but feel so hurt looking at the damages between me and my pa now. I just pray that my pa would understand how much i look up and love him...
prosecution.
The 'prosecution' has finally begin.
For the 1st time of my life, i'm driven to do spring cleaning for CNY and devoted myself to do spring cleaning for 3 days. My pa's been nagging for days about us neglecting the household, so i really wish he'll be proud of me.
CNY evening, the cleaning's finally done. We just have to sit back and enjoy the new year. But Satan, the scheming devil just have to make my pa spot my cross necklace and question my religion.
I've been trying to prepare myself for this day, but never have i expect it to come on that day. i admitted, and my pa took it very badly. He became extremely hostile the entire 2 day and was blinded by Satan's malice.
I couldn't take it either. I can't bear to deny my Father above, i can't bear to deny my saviour who's been there for me all the time. Even if i could lie, how long can i hide? Just how long? Why? Why must it come at such a time? With all my hard work wasted. i know my pa loves me, but why? Why did he curse and turn me away? Am i such a bad daughter?
I couldn't control my tears when i was at my granny house and cried. My pa got angrier and scolded both Ab and i. I kept praying, praying for a solution, praying for the angels to calm my pa down.
Many of my relatives helped. My christian aunt came into the room and tell me of the 'prosecution' period that she and my another aunt have went through. She cried and i couldn't help and cried again.
After awhile all of us calmed down and the situation got better. Nonetheless there's this huge gap between my pa and i now.
As i'm reading my daily devotionals which i've been neglecting for days now, i realised my Father has actually been preparing me for it.
Romans 8:38-39
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor the future, nor powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is ours in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-37
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
1 John 4:10
This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
My aunt said that i oughta prepare myself for this route when i've decided on my religion for it's going to be a harsh one, or at least in my family. This route... filled with malice and threats from Satan, is my route to my beloved Father. Please my lord, i beg for your grace, love and spirit... Be with me always.
i can't help but feel so hurt looking at the damages between me and my pa now. I just pray that my pa would understand how much i look up and love him...
Labels: beloved God, festival
looked up to the sky at 2/20/2007 02:15:00 AM
Thursday, February 15, 2007
heipi 20th wenfang!
A few more hours.
A few more hours to go to my final exam throughout my whole 3 years in Mass Comm. (provided that i don't repeat *pray hard*)
A few more hours to go to freedom.
A few more hours to relax and do things at my own pace.
I'm so so touched that i could fall right on my knees, and thank God for giving me strength to go on. These 3 years aren't the best time of my life you see.
I'm sorry Father, i didn't put my full concentration and went day dreaming so many times. Would You please give me the courage and strength to go on well my Lord?
Just a few more hours....
Anyway HEIPI 20th BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST KEE WEN FANG! Finally someone as old as me heh heh heh i'm not alone!!!! :p Love you much and i'm sorry it's gonna be a belated birthday celebration, but we'll make it up to you my dear! *hugs*
Life is like examinations; i'm not sure if i did well everytime, but i'm bound to learn something, be it effortlessly or with a price to pay. Back to MASINA...
Labels: emo, heipi birthday, photos
looked up to the sky at 2/15/2007 03:04:00 AM
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
SERIOUSLY... I'm getting my biological clock all wrong. -_- Kept sleeping at the wrong time, otherwise, couldn't sleep at all. Ahh.
Had my Media Law exam yesterday and i seriously think that i've under-answered those questions. Hai. Hate the feeling of haveing no one to talk/discuss with about the exam questions once the exam was over. Everybody just left with their own cliques of friends and i'm jus eagarly to leave first so it won't seem so lonely for me. But this person (who has been traumatizing me for year 2 with his 'spare-tyre' treatment) just had to suddenly get himself involved with me when he's alone and ignore me when he found company again.
My mind was constantly screaming: God give me strength give me strength give me strength and i tried to blast myself with loud music and walk as fast as i could but i just HAD to wear my stupid heels yesterday and nearly fell down a couple of times.
But the day went on better at Kai's. Thank you God!
Was in a freaking emo mood these days too, and it's really making me... really, useless. I kept having this loser feeling and my self esteem of myself is truly lousy (not that it has been really good in the first place anyway). Oh well, so i decided to visited May and Yan's workplace at J8 on Monday. I wanted to get myself a fish burger for dinner and a couple of pens for the exam and it totally went out of control. I bought:
Sorry to traumatize you.
Today's is Valentine's Day and the time now is 5:13Am and i just woke up.
SERIOUSLY... I'm getting my biological clock all wrong. -_- Kept sleeping at the wrong time, otherwise, couldn't sleep at all. Ahh.
Had my Media Law exam yesterday and i seriously think that i've under-answered those questions. Hai. Hate the feeling of haveing no one to talk/discuss with about the exam questions once the exam was over. Everybody just left with their own cliques of friends and i'm jus eagarly to leave first so it won't seem so lonely for me. But this person (who has been traumatizing me for year 2 with his 'spare-tyre' treatment) just had to suddenly get himself involved with me when he's alone and ignore me when he found company again.
My mind was constantly screaming: God give me strength give me strength give me strength and i tried to blast myself with loud music and walk as fast as i could but i just HAD to wear my stupid heels yesterday and nearly fell down a couple of times.
But the day went on better at Kai's. Thank you God!
Was in a freaking emo mood these days too, and it's really making me... really, useless. I kept having this loser feeling and my self esteem of myself is truly lousy (not that it has been really good in the first place anyway). Oh well, so i decided to visited May and Yan's workplace at J8 on Monday. I wanted to get myself a fish burger for dinner and a couple of pens for the exam and it totally went out of control. I bought:
- A tube and pants from Ebase costing 42 freaking bucks.
- 2 kiddie bedsheet for annabel and i because they're on sale.
- a handphone pouch for Kai
And it all started with a fish burger and a couple of pens. -______-
The above is such a emo and sadist entry. Lol i'm sorry.
Like i've said earlier.. Today's V Day, and i'm not sure why but this time, i'm not exactly anitcipating for it. Perhaps because i feel that V day is not as important as compared to anniversary or maybe i'm just used to not getting any Valentine's Day gifts... But this time, i'm especially emotionless for V day. Sure i'll like to receive flowers or gifts *hint hint* :p, but still... it still feels like a mundane day for me. There's this saying: "everyday can be a Valentine's day" and i think it's very true. you don't really have to show your affection on V day, but of cause, you should be doing extra affection for V day. But just a simple flower can do, one stalk also can lah.
Okie now i'm contradicting myself. Maybe it's the exam mood affecting me, perhaps the fact that i can't eat too much chocolate or my teeth will be threatening to rebel, or it could be my emo-ness? AHHH this is so irritating. T_T
Now it's 5:43Am and i better go back to MASINA. The amount of stuffs to study and research is truly horrifying and i just had nightmares about it. Father God bless me please!
And heipi Valentine's Day my dearest Kai dear. Thank you for being so so patient and nice with me and i really look forward to see you in a few more hours, and to our future. I love my polar bear. Heh heh heh.
Heipi Valentine's Day to my beloved Father and saviour Jesus, as well as to my friends (Tous especially, really love you guys) and families. :D
Labels: emo, festival, thoughts and reflection
looked up to the sky at 2/14/2007 05:12:00 AM
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Overview of the stage.
Selina's dance routine. Seriously it's so hot that my eyes nearly pop out.
Hebe and Fei Lun Hai!
Nice photo but someone's face was blocked by Wu Zun's hand. Haha.
Some, erm red oriental outfit.
S.H.E and special guest Stephanie Sun!
Woah Hebe's almost the same size as Stephanie Sun.
S.H.E Perfect 3 concert photos!
Sorry we're not S.H.E yet. This's us seated in indoor stadium waiting for the concert to start. Look at the no. of people!
WOAH here they come!
Dearest Ella and her cute drum routine!
Ella look so beautiful here!
Overview of the stage.
Selina's dance routine. Seriously it's so hot that my eyes nearly pop out.
Hebe and Fei Lun Hai!
Nice photo but someone's face was blocked by Wu Zun's hand. Haha.
Some, erm red oriental outfit.
S.H.E and special guest Stephanie Sun!
Woah Hebe's almost the same size as Stephanie Sun.
And then here's where my camera battery died!!! *bang wall*
Okie back to mugging for my final 2 exams...
looked up to the sky at 2/10/2007 03:53:00 PM
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Last shoot of Moo taken in the hospital. Amazingly how i can still come up with the thought/energy to finish up my film and how i feel like zombie now. Haha.
专属天使...
Wanted to post pictures of S.H.E concert as well as the pictures i took on the last day of school... But not very sure why am i feeling very dizzy. Feels like hundreds of ants biting on my wounds.
Last shoot of Moo taken in the hospital. Amazingly how i can still come up with the thought/energy to finish up my film and how i feel like zombie now. Haha.
我不會怪你 對我的偽裝
天使在人間是該藏好翅膀
Such beautiful lyrics... Sometimes i wonder how people come up with them.
Labels: ehhh weird, photos
looked up to the sky at 2/06/2007 04:37:00 AM
Sunday, February 4, 2007
But this blog will be dedicated to kai and my 1st traffic accident.
I kinda knew that the possibility of us getting into an accident is higher than the other, but never will i expect it to be yesterday, right after i bought my new phone and line, and were on our way to Changi for dinner.
Then suddenly out came this car into our lane and we just drive straight into the back of the car and fell.
And to think that i was at J8 where Yan and May worked and eating their free new year goodies sample.
Couldn't really remember if i scream or what. My mind was shouting out "what should i so", "my will my papa react" and 'will the lorry behind us stop before it run over me".
But i could remember how my skin brushed through the rough surface of the road as i fell.
As i stood up, my bones are aching, there was some blood on my knees and hands. When i finally realised what has happened, i quickly turn my attention to Kai. He has more wounds and blood on him than me, and he could hardly stand up.
But thank you, my lord, for saving our lives, for letting us live with a few abrasions, and nothing more than that.
And for letting Kai to be alright,
for letting my father to be so understanding,
for having such caring friends (Tous and Yuensheng)
and for letting my new phone to spare!
i couldn't be more grateful than anything, i'm not sure if i'm shaken or touched, but just couldn't stop the tears flowing from my face at that time.
All in all, had my 1st accident and my 1st ride to the hospital in ambulance. Hmm the ambulance was very messy though. Lol!
But really, thank you my father, you keep us safe once again.
Praise You in this storm
There' so much things i wanna talk about - the end of my year 3 1st semester, my new phone (plus burden) and all.
But this blog will be dedicated to kai and my 1st traffic accident.
I kinda knew that the possibility of us getting into an accident is higher than the other, but never will i expect it to be yesterday, right after i bought my new phone and line, and were on our way to Changi for dinner.
Then suddenly out came this car into our lane and we just drive straight into the back of the car and fell.
And to think that i was at J8 where Yan and May worked and eating their free new year goodies sample.
Couldn't really remember if i scream or what. My mind was shouting out "what should i so", "my will my papa react" and 'will the lorry behind us stop before it run over me".
But i could remember how my skin brushed through the rough surface of the road as i fell.
As i stood up, my bones are aching, there was some blood on my knees and hands. When i finally realised what has happened, i quickly turn my attention to Kai. He has more wounds and blood on him than me, and he could hardly stand up.
But thank you, my lord, for saving our lives, for letting us live with a few abrasions, and nothing more than that.
And for letting Kai to be alright,
for letting my father to be so understanding,
for having such caring friends (Tous and Yuensheng)
and for letting my new phone to spare!
i couldn't be more grateful than anything, i'm not sure if i'm shaken or touched, but just couldn't stop the tears flowing from my face at that time.
All in all, had my 1st accident and my 1st ride to the hospital in ambulance. Hmm the ambulance was very messy though. Lol!
But really, thank you my father, you keep us safe once again.
Labels: beloved God, emo
looked up to the sky at 2/04/2007 11:40:00 PM
Thursday, February 1, 2007
I once was lost, but now I’m found
So far away, but I’m home now
I once was lost, but now I’m found
And my lifesong sings
I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don’t know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
And my lifesong sings - Casting Crowns
So many songs have touched my heart, but this is exactly how i feel towards You, my Father.
Tears filled my eyes, You found me back again. Take my hands... Guide me with your love and grace. Nobody love me like you do.
And i dedicate myself wholeheartedly, to You. :)
Daddy here i am.
I once was lost, but now I’m found
I once was lost, but now I’m found
So far away, but I’m home now
I once was lost, but now I’m found
And my lifesong sings
I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don’t know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
And my lifesong sings - Casting Crowns
So many songs have touched my heart, but this is exactly how i feel towards You, my Father.
Tears filled my eyes, You found me back again. Take my hands... Guide me with your love and grace. Nobody love me like you do.
And i dedicate myself wholeheartedly, to You. :)
Labels: beloved God
Au revoir
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