Pillars.
More than words could describe how glad i am to see my beloved beans, yutong and kenng pang pang pang... *echo* after what happened. Can't believe yutong's going to Australia to study. I wish i could go too. :/
How time flies, how your grace has worked on us, Lord...
Labels: photos
我不知不觉 又徘徊在从前
秋风悄悄的呼唤 听来尽是孤单
落叶的期盼 片片左右为难
心走寂寞攀 跟著飘进黑暗
我不闻不问 也许好过一点
被遗憾关在房间 挣扎只是拖延
无望的空谈 一声声的轻叹
回忆扯不断 怎麼摆脱纠缠
Finally done with radio's DAB slideshow presetation & feature assignment 1. It really feel so good, especially knowing my God has provided me trust and that never-ending grace to save us from pitfalls.
You love me so much father... Your unconditional love and grace, even she couldn't even understand that simple love.
You were there; when i cried, when i'm stressing over stuffs, when i stood at the edge of my depression. My gratitude and love for you, how could it ever be expressed?
Despite the certain 'downs' in my life, i'm really content with what i have now.
But sometimes, i'm still unsure of who i am.
Sometimes i feel considerate but yet so irresponsible.
Sometimes i feel so blessed yet empty.
Sometimes i'm disappointed but so thankful that all is not lost.
Sometimes i feel so driven but yet so unproductive and inefficient.
And many a times i wish you didn't leave and things wouldn't be this way...
找不到方向 往彩虹天堂
有你说的爱 在用幸福触摸忧伤
两个人 相守直到白发苍苍 自由的飞翔 在灿烂的星光
找不到方向...? Don't let go... Please?
Note to self: PLEASE STOP SKIPPING CLASS AND OVER SLEEP. *slap myself*
Labels: beloved God
Take me deeper into your heart, Lord.
I really shouldn't blog now, seeing that i have class at 1pm, my feature story 1's due in another 6 hours and i have no interviewee for my story.
Haha. Too numb and empty to be sad now. Don't have the time to mourn anyway. but deep inside me i know my God wants me to stay calm and trust him. :)
It's always at times like this i really wish things wouldn't be this way.
When i have breaks and i don't know who to spend with when people just go away in their cliques.
When it comes to groupwork and all i can do is to wait and not very sure what's going on.
When i really wish to talk or hang out with my friends and there's somthing holding me back and telling me that they're not interested.
When i put in so much efforts but satan just keep damning me.
When i've did so so much for you but you don't even recongise my existance.
When you delete me away...
When i've try so hard to reach out to you, you know it, but you just think i'm not good enough.
When everything goes wrong and it affects my mood and the people around me.
Hai... I really know i'm blessed.
Blessed with my wonderful friends like the Tous.
Blessed with Kai.
Blessed with my Pa and Ab who came for me 1st when it happened.
Blessed with my most highest father above for keeping me calm.
But I wish that i could be more mature, to balance my God, personal life and studies more effciently.
I just wish for a more enjoyable experience in mass comm.
I just wish to be appreciated and cared in school.
I just wish i could show you the best of me, instead of this ugly me...
Labels: beloved God, emo
Go away...
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid.
And last night, you injured my hand, my trust, my heart, my everything again.
It's devil's condemnation all over again, from all aspects of my life.
I'm so tired... Jesus save me.
Labels: emo
Here i am...
Sitting alone in one of the library cubicle, sleepy, coughing, thinking...
Today is a good day!
Had a wonderful lift to school from Kai, lunch with Huiqi and Gel.
And i'm going to have a dinner with my beloved much-missed Toutous later. Heh.
Yeah today's a good day... Thank you Jesus! :D
Labels: ehhh weird
Night Safari!
I'm so so sooooooo * the power of infinity* ooooooo tired. The medication i took 2 days ago has worn me out so much that i'm still quite drowsy from it. :/
Don't think i'll dare to take the medication again. But the coughing and all's wearing me down too. :(
Heal me Jesus!
Anyway, had an interesting outing with Yan and Choryeow on tuesday! We went to.... *Drumrolls*
THE NIGHT SAFARI! :D
Yeah 3 fully grown idiots went to the Night Safari.
Special thanks to Choryeow for sponsoring our trip, holding my 3kg lappy for me and still putting a stong front when his dog just departed the world that very afternoon. :(
I got carsick again on our way there and vomitted all the koropok and bubble tea that i ate in school in the Night Safari toilet. Gosh even the toilet's damn nice! I'm sorry i had to vomit in the toilet.
Had a nice Fish and Chip and Ben & Jerry with them and off we go to see the animals!
Saw plenty of potential relatives of the people around us:
The hippo that reminded me of Kai, the sloth bear that kept stoning, some ugly looking wild boar with tusk, giant flying squrriel that refuse to fly, the majestic elephants, leopards, tigers and lions, the elegant deers that are just a meter away from us...
And lotsa cattles, where they'll be truly safe from ugly cow eater humans. Hahahaha!
Saw a potential Yan-look alike on the admission ticket too!
HAHAHAHA! So adorable.
Had the scariest experience at the bat cages. They are many of them and are bigger than my face! One of them just flow past us right in our faces lah. Freak the hell out of us.
Only managed to take 1 picture of us during the Night Animal show:
Too bad my phone was out of battery and we couldn't take any pictures of the trip.
Never thought the Night Safari to be so enjoyable! Was rather exciting walking in the dark and seeing all the endangered animals that are going to be extinct soon. Minus away my car-sickness, flu, no camera and 3kg lappy the trip will be even better though.
And to think i was so relunctant to go in the 1st place. -_-" Can't wait to go to the Singapore Zoo next! :D
The food list.
As i'm coughing and (attempting to) doing my paperwork for lydia and mine's radio capsule titled "The Christmas List" which features Christmas gift ideas, I can't help thinking but to draw up a list of food that i wanna eat when i'm well:
- roti prata
- KFC
- pasta mania
- fish koropok
- dried mee goreng that i ate at lydia's house
- korean maggie udon mee
- sashimi
- thai fried maggie mee
- thai fried rice
- thai pork guo tiao
Okie stop drifting already. T_T Back to radio.
Create in me a pure heart, O God!
It's been more than a week since i updated this space. It's really amazing how much things one could experience within such a short amount of time, but praise my lord, whatever happens, i'll fall right back into my father's arms of grace! :D
My health's going downhill again.. Damn sian man, i've lost count of the amount of money i spend on doctor visit. Imagine... The amount of money i could have spend on new clothes, food... T_T BAH!!
But for once i'm actually quite proud of myself for not cabbing to school for 1 week! Thank you Jesus!
The workloads' pilling up again, but this semster really has to be the most enjoyable semster. For the 1st time in my 3-year duration in Ngee Ann, i really feel more at ease, fulfilled towards my work. :)
But still now and then, i just seem to be having mental blocks and all, i'm so glad to have nice classmates to help me along. Praise Jesus!
And after 2 months plus... I finally went through what i feared most. It came as a shock, or even an heart attack. I think i've almost forgotten how weak my heart could actually be. But thank you lord, for not letting me to be alone when it happened. Thank you lord for letting kai and xiaohui to my rescue, thank you lord for having my Tous' immediate concern wherever i go.
And best of all, thank you lord, for letting the hurtful past in us to go.. It came, and passed, with forgiveness and only the beautiful memories to stay.
Met up with my beloved Tou Huay and Tou Fu for the movie "The Conventant" too! Was a very rushed last minute meeting and the movie was *erm so-so* but i'm so glad to see 2 of my bestest friends in the whole world. Though i nearly fall asleep during the movies (WAHAHAHA), it was nice to rest within the presence of my dear may and yan. Can't wait for our next beaning outing! :D
And *drumrolls*....
I've finally bought S.H.E's Perfect 3 world tour concert ticket!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
And much thanks to dear kai for watching it with me though it had burnt a huge hole in your wallet. :/ I'm glad i don't have to watch it alone! :D *hug*
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvationand grant me a willing spirit,
to sustain me.
(Psalm 51:10-12)
Yes my father, my beloved father.
Create, renew, restore and substain. Blessed i am, the beloved daughter of my father above! :D
Lifehouse- Breathing
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace
I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be
I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time
I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the straps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now
I know i'll have my father's everlasting grace if i fell again, but really, do you know how i long to stop spinning already?
Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise. (Jeremiah 17:14)
Au revoir
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