Monday, July 27, 2009
You're looking at one of the most beautiful people in my life... :]
Kai must join next time okie?
Beautiful sunday
It's almost a month from Yan's birthday celebration at Marina Barrage, but the photos we took never fail to take my breathe away...
You're looking at one of the most beautiful people in my life... :]
Kai must join next time okie?
looked up to the sky at 7/27/2009 10:51:00 PM
Monday, July 20, 2009
太阳在头上
公路的右方
无边的海洋
我怀疑我的梦想 已经变了样
如果你有所期待 很抱歉
我会让你失望
摸索着未来
却一直回头望
有些放不下
有些不想忘
我知道你会感伤 但我已没有办法
总是要学着遗忘
学着疗伤
总要跌跌撞撞
才找到答案
你说我总是荒唐 我承认我是荒唐
你以为我喜欢这样吗
过去美丽时光 顺着海浪
流向未知远方
跟过去做个了断
让我的心去流浪
我要离开这地方
而我 却一错再错
离开你也是错
我只能这样做
也请你原谅我这样做
我们曾经爱过
对我来说已经足够
总是要学着遗忘
学着疗伤
总要跌跌撞撞
才找到答案
你说我总是荒唐 我承认我是荒唐
你以为我喜欢这样吗
过去美丽时光
顺着海浪
流向未知远方
跟过去做个了断
让我的心去流浪
我要离开这地方
而我 却一错再错
离开你也是错
我只能这样做
也请你 原谅我这样做
我们曾经爱过
对我来说已经足够
张震岳 - 公路
Sometimes i see and feel the changes from my past self.
But most of the time I'm still staring at the bits and pieces lying around me, everyday, everywhere i go.
Chengwei's sms to me:
"When I'm in a dark tunnel, I want to be with people who love me enough to sit in the darkness with me and not stand outside telling me how to get out."
I've saved it in my handphone and read it whenever i feel insecure.
跟过去做个了断 让我的心去流浪
打开车的窗
太阳在头上
公路的右方
无边的海洋
我怀疑我的梦想 已经变了样
如果你有所期待 很抱歉
我会让你失望
摸索着未来
却一直回头望
有些放不下
有些不想忘
我知道你会感伤 但我已没有办法
总是要学着遗忘
学着疗伤
总要跌跌撞撞
才找到答案
你说我总是荒唐 我承认我是荒唐
你以为我喜欢这样吗
过去美丽时光 顺着海浪
流向未知远方
跟过去做个了断
让我的心去流浪
我要离开这地方
而我 却一错再错
离开你也是错
我只能这样做
也请你原谅我这样做
我们曾经爱过
对我来说已经足够
总是要学着遗忘
学着疗伤
总要跌跌撞撞
才找到答案
你说我总是荒唐 我承认我是荒唐
你以为我喜欢这样吗
过去美丽时光
顺着海浪
流向未知远方
跟过去做个了断
让我的心去流浪
我要离开这地方
而我 却一错再错
离开你也是错
我只能这样做
也请你 原谅我这样做
我们曾经爱过
对我来说已经足够
张震岳 - 公路
Sometimes i see and feel the changes from my past self.
But most of the time I'm still staring at the bits and pieces lying around me, everyday, everywhere i go.
Chengwei's sms to me:
"When I'm in a dark tunnel, I want to be with people who love me enough to sit in the darkness with me and not stand outside telling me how to get out."
I've saved it in my handphone and read it whenever i feel insecure.
Labels: thoughts and reflection
looked up to the sky at 7/20/2009 05:09:00 PM
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Or rather, whenever i see them...
It's really weird, because we've knew each other more than a decade, and has meeting up regularly over the years. But we our actual friendship span might be a year's worth. As much as I'm very appreciative for these friendships, we never ever get/want to close up the gap between us.
It has probably gotten to a point whereby all the opposite sex, including my own boyfriend, might be on better terms than them.
Having to watch them taking pics among themselves at every gatherings is becoming a torture to me. It's so tormenting that i feel like giving up on gatherings sometimes.
Sometimes i don't even know what's my existence there for... Watch my decade-old friends boasting on their bonds as i slipped into the background, hide in shame for my inability to bond?
I know we're all selective about the things around us. Who can be best friends with everybody? Heck, I have 3 best friends to understand this theory well enough. But this 'exclusive' selectivity has become so brutally raw... that it's so painful to watch. Sometimes I really wish i could dig a hole to temporary soothe the pain and awkwardness...
It's almost like a type of public display of affection among friends, only you're not part of it at all...
Lately, it has become so bad that i can almost feel depression at my fingertips, gradually spreading to hands, my lungs, my heart... and finally my brain.
I can't stop rubbing my hands. My fingers start to tremble. My breathing getting harder. My heartbeat getting faster, and my head starts to get irrational.
I can't stop looking at Kai, seeking for his gaze, to tell him how insecure and scared i am.
It's such a familiar feeling... A feeling that i still very much fear.
It's the very same feeling that once tore my mind and soul apart. I can almost feel this inner demon inside me, wanting to be unleash once again.
I really do not want to go back to the very same nightmare again.
I know my will/determination/attitude has always been much weaker than the others. Which is why i need to self-quarantine myself from the people mentioned above before it gets worse... Before i thoroughly lose the remaining friendships i have... Before my loved ones and me can't recongise myself again... I'm sorry...
Wallpaper
I find the ability to stay cheerful harder these couple of days.
Or rather, whenever i see them...
It's really weird, because we've knew each other more than a decade, and has meeting up regularly over the years. But we our actual friendship span might be a year's worth. As much as I'm very appreciative for these friendships, we never ever get/want to close up the gap between us.
It has probably gotten to a point whereby all the opposite sex, including my own boyfriend, might be on better terms than them.
Having to watch them taking pics among themselves at every gatherings is becoming a torture to me. It's so tormenting that i feel like giving up on gatherings sometimes.
Sometimes i don't even know what's my existence there for... Watch my decade-old friends boasting on their bonds as i slipped into the background, hide in shame for my inability to bond?
I know we're all selective about the things around us. Who can be best friends with everybody? Heck, I have 3 best friends to understand this theory well enough. But this 'exclusive' selectivity has become so brutally raw... that it's so painful to watch. Sometimes I really wish i could dig a hole to temporary soothe the pain and awkwardness...
It's almost like a type of public display of affection among friends, only you're not part of it at all...
Lately, it has become so bad that i can almost feel depression at my fingertips, gradually spreading to hands, my lungs, my heart... and finally my brain.
I can't stop rubbing my hands. My fingers start to tremble. My breathing getting harder. My heartbeat getting faster, and my head starts to get irrational.
I can't stop looking at Kai, seeking for his gaze, to tell him how insecure and scared i am.
It's such a familiar feeling... A feeling that i still very much fear.
It's the very same feeling that once tore my mind and soul apart. I can almost feel this inner demon inside me, wanting to be unleash once again.
I really do not want to go back to the very same nightmare again.
I know my will/determination/attitude has always been much weaker than the others. Which is why i need to self-quarantine myself from the people mentioned above before it gets worse... Before i thoroughly lose the remaining friendships i have... Before my loved ones and me can't recongise myself again... I'm sorry...
Labels: emo
Au revoir
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