Saturday, August 26, 2006
This semester has really been hell. But i'm kinda proud of myself for completing this semester with an extra module.. Especially when the support and understanding left...
Now... To sit back and pray hard for my exam results. Especially after reading Ang Sin Sin's warning email about our overall grades for PR exams. :/ ARGHHHHHHHHH
Leaving for ChiangMai in a few hours with two of my best friends, May and Yan!
PS: Fang you'll be terribly missed. I wish you could come along too, without you TouTous' incomplete.
My second overseas trip with my friends. It'll be a test of true friendships. I have great faith in us, but nevertheless... I won't forget the great price i've to pay and learn through the hard way .
Leaving in anticipation for shopping trips, companions from my two best friends and relatives, and a get away from this hurtful world.
Leaving in doubts and fears.
Leaving in bliss that my friends would be waiting for my return.
Leaving in disappointment and heartache.
Leaving, for now...
School's over and out. I was so relieved that i let out a loud "YAY" at the examination hall right after my exam paper was collected!
This semester has really been hell. But i'm kinda proud of myself for completing this semester with an extra module.. Especially when the support and understanding left...
Now... To sit back and pray hard for my exam results. Especially after reading Ang Sin Sin's warning email about our overall grades for PR exams. :/ ARGHHHHHHHHH
Leaving for ChiangMai in a few hours with two of my best friends, May and Yan!
PS: Fang you'll be terribly missed. I wish you could come along too, without you TouTous' incomplete.
My second overseas trip with my friends. It'll be a test of true friendships. I have great faith in us, but nevertheless... I won't forget the great price i've to pay and learn through the hard way .
Leaving in anticipation for shopping trips, companions from my two best friends and relatives, and a get away from this hurtful world.
Leaving in doubts and fears.
Leaving in bliss that my friends would be waiting for my return.
Leaving in disappointment and heartache.
Make me heipi again, Chiang Mai.
looked up to the sky at 8/26/2006 01:04:00 AM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
The last run... For now at least.
Got this from mellie:
 |
| 'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
Woah. After years of misery??? Errie. :/
But how i wish it'll be true...
Darth Vader would be good.
Human relationships are the most mysterious and unpredictable things in life.
It trashes, it hurts, it disappoints...
But it can be the most beautiful thing too.
My head hurts like shiat.
looked up to the sky at 8/23/2006 04:22:00 PM
Monday, August 21, 2006
I'm tired and numb beyond words...
But it'll end soon, soon...
Exams and not to mention a whole lot of bad luck and some personal issues has been burying me underground. I can hardly see any sunlight from here.
PR is badly done, and i can't afford to let MRM down. I'm really tired...
But thank God, without the angels you sent for me, where will i be?
Praise the lord.
My wound cries for the grave, but...
It's been a rollercoaster ride in hell for the past few days. My one way ticket to hell, but i'm not sure if a return ticket's provided.
I'm tired and numb beyond words...
But it'll end soon, soon...
Exams and not to mention a whole lot of bad luck and some personal issues has been burying me underground. I can hardly see any sunlight from here.
PR is badly done, and i can't afford to let MRM down. I'm really tired...
But thank God, without the angels you sent for me, where will i be?
Praise the lord.
looked up to the sky at 8/21/2006 07:39:00 PM
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Maybe i should do a round-up thoughts for the semester too? Hmm. Oh well here goes!
As a cross lever, this semester is the 2nd semester of my year 2 while others are doing their year 2 semester 1/ year 3 semester 1 in mcm.
This hasn't exactly been a great semester for me. Then again, none of the semester is peaceful. I don't know why, it feels like a curse, something, just something will bound to happen in every of my semester.
This semester, the close friendships i've established in my year 1 semester 2 were... gone.
I don't know about the others, but being someone who doesn't really have dependable friends in MCM (i seriously don't know why), true friends seem like a luxury to me in MCM.
To be honestly, i was very deeply hurt. It affected so much that i'm still afraid, to this very day. And i still do miss them alot.
Sometimes i feel like a dog, seraching for people's acceptance, their approval to be with them. But just a slight disapproval and i get very discouraged. Like a hermit crab, i kept to myself. But how i wish i could tell the people around me that i was bleeding in the inside. Friends, whom i thought will stay by me, didn't do anything much to help i guess. But then again, they don't really have a reason to do so. I know i played a part in letting them go, but forgive me, i'm too hurt to advance.
But, near the end of the semester, i get to know my groupmates better. And i'm certainly very grateful for that. Although there was abit of slight differences, but i really appreciated each and every one of them for being their unique self, and most importanly, for giving me some sense of belonging.
In terms of work, it was H.E.L.L. Literially shitty man. I've never ever ever met such a huge workload. Having an extra module nearly knock me off. Most of the time i'm not very sure with what i'm doing actually, and so many a times, i'll just sit down and dazed. Hmm maybe i should have more chicken essence!
Sometimes not having tutors' understanding kinda discouraged me too. But i'm really thankful for having groupmates' understanding. But being a cross-lever, i can hardly have any sense of belonging or appreciation whenever i go.
All in all, this semester is like #^$%& SHIAT and i'm so glad it's over. :D But thank you lord for letting me know the friends i've now and i really pray hard for it to last.
Ahh, will next semester be a better semester?! I'm filled with anxiety rather than anticipation. But i'm more worried on whether i can do well for my 3 upcoming monsterous exams. T_T
-Where'd you go? I miss you so, Seems like it's been forever, That you've been gone.-
I miss you badly.
Confession of a abandoned cross-lever.
Been blog-hopping around and reading what others have to say for the end of this tremedous tedious semester. Hop hop hop.
Maybe i should do a round-up thoughts for the semester too? Hmm. Oh well here goes!
As a cross lever, this semester is the 2nd semester of my year 2 while others are doing their year 2 semester 1/ year 3 semester 1 in mcm.
This hasn't exactly been a great semester for me. Then again, none of the semester is peaceful. I don't know why, it feels like a curse, something, just something will bound to happen in every of my semester.
This semester, the close friendships i've established in my year 1 semester 2 were... gone.
I don't know about the others, but being someone who doesn't really have dependable friends in MCM (i seriously don't know why), true friends seem like a luxury to me in MCM.
To be honestly, i was very deeply hurt. It affected so much that i'm still afraid, to this very day. And i still do miss them alot.
Sometimes i feel like a dog, seraching for people's acceptance, their approval to be with them. But just a slight disapproval and i get very discouraged. Like a hermit crab, i kept to myself. But how i wish i could tell the people around me that i was bleeding in the inside. Friends, whom i thought will stay by me, didn't do anything much to help i guess. But then again, they don't really have a reason to do so. I know i played a part in letting them go, but forgive me, i'm too hurt to advance.
But, near the end of the semester, i get to know my groupmates better. And i'm certainly very grateful for that. Although there was abit of slight differences, but i really appreciated each and every one of them for being their unique self, and most importanly, for giving me some sense of belonging.
In terms of work, it was H.E.L.L. Literially shitty man. I've never ever ever met such a huge workload. Having an extra module nearly knock me off. Most of the time i'm not very sure with what i'm doing actually, and so many a times, i'll just sit down and dazed. Hmm maybe i should have more chicken essence!
Sometimes not having tutors' understanding kinda discouraged me too. But i'm really thankful for having groupmates' understanding. But being a cross-lever, i can hardly have any sense of belonging or appreciation whenever i go.
All in all, this semester is like #^$%& SHIAT and i'm so glad it's over. :D But thank you lord for letting me know the friends i've now and i really pray hard for it to last.
Ahh, will next semester be a better semester?! I'm filled with anxiety rather than anticipation. But i'm more worried on whether i can do well for my 3 upcoming monsterous exams. T_T
-Where'd you go? I miss you so, Seems like it's been forever, That you've been gone.-
I miss you badly.
Labels: thoughts and reflection
looked up to the sky at 8/15/2006 02:27:00 AM
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Woah, memories gush through my mind! And yes they're still very strong, i'm digging all my Meteor Garden stuffs out!
But as compared to Meteor Garden 1, i think Meteor Garden has totally destoryed its "perfect" storyline.
I was first attracted to Meteor Garden because of Dao Ming Si's love; his passionate love for Shan Cai, his's willingness to put everything down to withstand the forces against him.
But Meteor Garden 2 just had to destory that perfect love that Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai had.
And sadly, having Michelle Saram's (aka Ye Sha aka 3rd party) to ruin the perfect love in the dramedy, despite how "philosophical" the character actually is, isn't helping at all.
That was why i dislike Meteor Garden 2 intially. But 3 years after i've 1st watched the beautiful dramedy, i finally found the real reason:
Because it depicted reality.
It hurts alot when people gave me a slap from reality by saying: "You should stop reading or watching such fantasy stuffs because they doesn't exist in reality."
And i often thought: why not? After all, we are the one who thought up with these fantasy show.
Is it impossible for Dao Ming Si to survive in reality?
Is it really impossible for someone who's so passionate about his love to really exist?
Anyway, i've learnt to refrain myself from watching such idol-dramedy before it's too late.
But oh, how tempting this is.
I don't wanna wake up.
I was watching Meteor Garden 2 repeats on Channel U a moment ago.
Woah, memories gush through my mind! And yes they're still very strong, i'm digging all my Meteor Garden stuffs out!
But as compared to Meteor Garden 1, i think Meteor Garden has totally destoryed its "perfect" storyline.
I was first attracted to Meteor Garden because of Dao Ming Si's love; his passionate love for Shan Cai, his's willingness to put everything down to withstand the forces against him.
But Meteor Garden 2 just had to destory that perfect love that Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai had.
And sadly, having Michelle Saram's (aka Ye Sha aka 3rd party) to ruin the perfect love in the dramedy, despite how "philosophical" the character actually is, isn't helping at all.
That was why i dislike Meteor Garden 2 intially. But 3 years after i've 1st watched the beautiful dramedy, i finally found the real reason:
Because it depicted reality.
It hurts alot when people gave me a slap from reality by saying: "You should stop reading or watching such fantasy stuffs because they doesn't exist in reality."
And i often thought: why not? After all, we are the one who thought up with these fantasy show.
Is it impossible for Dao Ming Si to survive in reality?
Is it really impossible for someone who's so passionate about his love to really exist?
Anyway, i've learnt to refrain myself from watching such idol-dramedy before it's too late.
But oh, how tempting this is.
looked up to the sky at 8/13/2006 02:36:00 AM
Saturday, August 12, 2006
How am i feeling? Not very good, but i'm trying to be calm.
Really.
However, calm doesn't mean heipi.
I'm calm, but disappointed.
With what? With my life.
I'm unsure, unsure of where my life is going, who i am, what's going on, where my future is, who my friends are... blah blah.
You may think everybody's going through the same.
But i can assured you mine was so bad that i don't mind dying now.
So why am i still here...? Perhaps part of me is still hoping.
I'm not problematic, i'm just extremely lost.
This is the 4th public blog that i have. I'm really ashamed to admit that i've been constantly deleting blogs. I could say i'm a perfectionist, but deep inside i know i'm a coward who just want to escape.
I'm emo, short-tempered, anxious, sensitive, dark, depressed, negative... blah blah.
But i assured you that i'm loyal, quirky, cheerful too.
To be exact...
I'm isabel.
Hi blog.
It's 4:04am and today marked the end of my year 2 semester 2 in MCM.
How am i feeling? Not very good, but i'm trying to be calm.
Really.
However, calm doesn't mean heipi.
I'm calm, but disappointed.
With what? With my life.
I'm unsure, unsure of where my life is going, who i am, what's going on, where my future is, who my friends are... blah blah.
You may think everybody's going through the same.
But i can assured you mine was so bad that i don't mind dying now.
So why am i still here...? Perhaps part of me is still hoping.
I'm not problematic, i'm just extremely lost.
This is the 4th public blog that i have. I'm really ashamed to admit that i've been constantly deleting blogs. I could say i'm a perfectionist, but deep inside i know i'm a coward who just want to escape.
I'm emo, short-tempered, anxious, sensitive, dark, depressed, negative... blah blah.
But i assured you that i'm loyal, quirky, cheerful too.
To be exact...
I'm isabel.
Au revoir
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