Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Maybe i should do a round-up thoughts for the semester too? Hmm. Oh well here goes!
As a cross lever, this semester is the 2nd semester of my year 2 while others are doing their year 2 semester 1/ year 3 semester 1 in mcm.
This hasn't exactly been a great semester for me. Then again, none of the semester is peaceful. I don't know why, it feels like a curse, something, just something will bound to happen in every of my semester.
This semester, the close friendships i've established in my year 1 semester 2 were... gone.
I don't know about the others, but being someone who doesn't really have dependable friends in MCM (i seriously don't know why), true friends seem like a luxury to me in MCM.
To be honestly, i was very deeply hurt. It affected so much that i'm still afraid, to this very day. And i still do miss them alot.
Sometimes i feel like a dog, seraching for people's acceptance, their approval to be with them. But just a slight disapproval and i get very discouraged. Like a hermit crab, i kept to myself. But how i wish i could tell the people around me that i was bleeding in the inside. Friends, whom i thought will stay by me, didn't do anything much to help i guess. But then again, they don't really have a reason to do so. I know i played a part in letting them go, but forgive me, i'm too hurt to advance.
But, near the end of the semester, i get to know my groupmates better. And i'm certainly very grateful for that. Although there was abit of slight differences, but i really appreciated each and every one of them for being their unique self, and most importanly, for giving me some sense of belonging.
In terms of work, it was H.E.L.L. Literially shitty man. I've never ever ever met such a huge workload. Having an extra module nearly knock me off. Most of the time i'm not very sure with what i'm doing actually, and so many a times, i'll just sit down and dazed. Hmm maybe i should have more chicken essence!
Sometimes not having tutors' understanding kinda discouraged me too. But i'm really thankful for having groupmates' understanding. But being a cross-lever, i can hardly have any sense of belonging or appreciation whenever i go.
All in all, this semester is like #^$%& SHIAT and i'm so glad it's over. :D But thank you lord for letting me know the friends i've now and i really pray hard for it to last.
Ahh, will next semester be a better semester?! I'm filled with anxiety rather than anticipation. But i'm more worried on whether i can do well for my 3 upcoming monsterous exams. T_T
-Where'd you go? I miss you so, Seems like it's been forever, That you've been gone.-
I miss you badly.
Confession of a abandoned cross-lever.
Been blog-hopping around and reading what others have to say for the end of this tremedous tedious semester. Hop hop hop.
Maybe i should do a round-up thoughts for the semester too? Hmm. Oh well here goes!
As a cross lever, this semester is the 2nd semester of my year 2 while others are doing their year 2 semester 1/ year 3 semester 1 in mcm.
This hasn't exactly been a great semester for me. Then again, none of the semester is peaceful. I don't know why, it feels like a curse, something, just something will bound to happen in every of my semester.
This semester, the close friendships i've established in my year 1 semester 2 were... gone.
I don't know about the others, but being someone who doesn't really have dependable friends in MCM (i seriously don't know why), true friends seem like a luxury to me in MCM.
To be honestly, i was very deeply hurt. It affected so much that i'm still afraid, to this very day. And i still do miss them alot.
Sometimes i feel like a dog, seraching for people's acceptance, their approval to be with them. But just a slight disapproval and i get very discouraged. Like a hermit crab, i kept to myself. But how i wish i could tell the people around me that i was bleeding in the inside. Friends, whom i thought will stay by me, didn't do anything much to help i guess. But then again, they don't really have a reason to do so. I know i played a part in letting them go, but forgive me, i'm too hurt to advance.
But, near the end of the semester, i get to know my groupmates better. And i'm certainly very grateful for that. Although there was abit of slight differences, but i really appreciated each and every one of them for being their unique self, and most importanly, for giving me some sense of belonging.
In terms of work, it was H.E.L.L. Literially shitty man. I've never ever ever met such a huge workload. Having an extra module nearly knock me off. Most of the time i'm not very sure with what i'm doing actually, and so many a times, i'll just sit down and dazed. Hmm maybe i should have more chicken essence!
Sometimes not having tutors' understanding kinda discouraged me too. But i'm really thankful for having groupmates' understanding. But being a cross-lever, i can hardly have any sense of belonging or appreciation whenever i go.
All in all, this semester is like #^$%& SHIAT and i'm so glad it's over. :D But thank you lord for letting me know the friends i've now and i really pray hard for it to last.
Ahh, will next semester be a better semester?! I'm filled with anxiety rather than anticipation. But i'm more worried on whether i can do well for my 3 upcoming monsterous exams. T_T
-Where'd you go? I miss you so, Seems like it's been forever, That you've been gone.-
I miss you badly.
Labels: thoughts and reflection
Au revoir
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