Friday, March 30, 2007
I've also come to realise how extrovets and unique my workmates are. Everyday, when i worked into the room i feel so different. I wish i had their never ending source of energy, their cheerfulness. Sometimes when they're laughing or fooling around, i'm not sure why but i can't pick myself up. Am i a cold blanket? I don't know. But i know this's not my world... But i'm quite eagar to join it.
Hear me, but i can't express it.
Watch me, i'm not that different from you.
Wait for me.
I'm thrown to a path which i have no confidence in, maybe God wants me to learn something, but i'm sure this's the path he's chosen for me.. All i ask for is patience and grace to overcome it. I know i can do it.
On the brighter side... Moo the fisheye's really making me very heipi and at ease. :) Thinking of developing the film tomorrow.
Let love in.
Attachment been going quite fine, except that my stomach's been rebelling for days. My appetite went down and i kept wanting to shit and burp and fart. I don't know why, but i find it kinda funny now. Hmm.
I've also come to realise how extrovets and unique my workmates are. Everyday, when i worked into the room i feel so different. I wish i had their never ending source of energy, their cheerfulness. Sometimes when they're laughing or fooling around, i'm not sure why but i can't pick myself up. Am i a cold blanket? I don't know. But i know this's not my world... But i'm quite eagar to join it.
Hear me, but i can't express it.
Watch me, i'm not that different from you.
Wait for me.
I'm thrown to a path which i have no confidence in, maybe God wants me to learn something, but i'm sure this's the path he's chosen for me.. All i ask for is patience and grace to overcome it. I know i can do it.
On the brighter side... Moo the fisheye's really making me very heipi and at ease. :) Thinking of developing the film tomorrow.
Labels: thoughts and reflection
looked up to the sky at 3/30/2007 03:36:00 AM
Sunday, March 25, 2007
What i'll like to have now...
- A part time photography-related job.
- Lifetime-supply of films, and processing.
- A full time record company (preferably H.I.M) job in Taiwan!
- A chance to go and participate in church without my parents' objection.
hmm...
My God, please help me shed my past. I just want to move forward, treasuring my precious present. Take away the painful memories. Amen.
Labels: thoughts and reflection
looked up to the sky at 3/25/2007 04:06:00 AM
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Eunice (i hope you're doing well in Taiwan my dear) and Lynn
Lydia, Zhixin and Kening.
6e gang. (Nasheng's 20th birthday. Look at Kai and Nasheng) -_-
Moo the Fisheye.
My dearest Kai...
AH ZUN ZUN!!! *melt into a puddle of water*
And most of all... My dearest Beloved father above and my Lord Jesus.
Sources of Heipiness.
Many.
So many stuffs swimming through my mind.
I dreamt of you last night, and for a moment i thought... But no. No, no, no. I think of you so much, so much that i feel like i've sinned. Is it love, i hope not. But whenever i listen to songs of break ups and broken promise, i think of you. I wish i could ask, i wish to know why you did it. What went wrong? But at the end of the day, it really do not matter anymore. I just wish you well. I just wish you're doing fine. Do you still see me in a negative light? Would you still think of me in a good way...?
I dreamt of you last night, and for a moment i thought... But no. No, no, no. I think of you so much, so much that i feel like i've sinned. Is it love, i hope not. But whenever i listen to songs of break ups and broken promise, i think of you. I wish i could ask, i wish to know why you did it. What went wrong? But at the end of the day, it really do not matter anymore. I just wish you well. I just wish you're doing fine. Do you still see me in a negative light? Would you still think of me in a good way...?
I feel so vulnerable. So many things out of my control.
I wanna type all these emo stuffs out. Everything. But instead, this is what i'll blog:
Beatty gang.
Eunice (i hope you're doing well in Taiwan my dear) and Lynn
6e gang. (Nasheng's 20th birthday. Look at Kai and Nasheng) -_-
Moo the Fisheye.
My dearest Kai...
Blue Skies
My dearest beloved S.H.E!
AH ZUN ZUN!!! *melt into a puddle of water*
And most of all... My dearest Beloved father above and my Lord Jesus.
As much as i seem to be isloating myself most of the time, i think of you guys whenever i feel down.
And this's my attempt to turn an emo entry to a heipier post.
Labels: haha hoho
looked up to the sky at 3/24/2007 04:09:00 AM
Thursday, March 22, 2007
But somehow i'm feeling really isloated and depressed again. Maybe it's the massive breakout on my face (my pimples are really hurting and threatening to erupt), or the increasing amount of fats on my body that's dragging me down, or maybe it's just me.
Honestly... Nobody else seems to be having this kind of problem except me. So it must be me har?
I made a promise to God and myself that i'll give in my very best and not to be depressed for this attachment. I really gotta succeed, i feel like a sad past not even in black and white. Just invisible.
Why am i so troublesome?
On the bright side, Kai just gave me 4 rolls of films and a camera that once belong to his father, and i've been bringing Moo out and it's really cheering me up. Now if only i have the money to develop them... Hmm.
GO GO GO with God's spirit.
Darkest of rooms.
It's the 3rd day of attachment in Radio Heatwave. The people are nice and chatty, the workload are increasing but challenging.
But somehow i'm feeling really isloated and depressed again. Maybe it's the massive breakout on my face (my pimples are really hurting and threatening to erupt), or the increasing amount of fats on my body that's dragging me down, or maybe it's just me.
Honestly... Nobody else seems to be having this kind of problem except me. So it must be me har?
I made a promise to God and myself that i'll give in my very best and not to be depressed for this attachment. I really gotta succeed, i feel like a sad past not even in black and white. Just invisible.
Why am i so troublesome?
On the bright side, Kai just gave me 4 rolls of films and a camera that once belong to his father, and i've been bringing Moo out and it's really cheering me up. Now if only i have the money to develop them... Hmm.
GO GO GO with God's spirit.
Labels: emo
looked up to the sky at 3/22/2007 12:43:00 AM
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I took a very fast 1st glance at the photos.
Then i read the 1st page again.
I tooked a second thorough look at these photos.
Such melancholy... Beyonds words can describe.
I looked at his bio-data, and i got a very.. chilling shock. A sad chilling shock...
Such determination and passion for his passion, especially at such a low stage. Or perhaps, it's his only way of expressing himself, before his death... In a way, i really admire him.
So read the 1st page thoroughly before advance.
And then the photos.
Bio-data.
and finally Curating.
A wave of chilling sadness and peace. The 'beautiful' strength of depression. Unbelievable strong.
My favourite quote from the gallery: "My photograph talk to me. And i need to talk to myself."
If only i could take photos like these...
Wu Xiao Kang.
A very inspiring, yet sad local gallery to share with you.
I took a very fast 1st glance at the photos.
Then i read the 1st page again.
I tooked a second thorough look at these photos.
Such melancholy... Beyonds words can describe.
I looked at his bio-data, and i got a very.. chilling shock. A sad chilling shock...
Such determination and passion for his passion, especially at such a low stage. Or perhaps, it's his only way of expressing himself, before his death... In a way, i really admire him.
So read the 1st page thoroughly before advance.
And then the photos.
Bio-data.
and finally Curating.
A wave of chilling sadness and peace. The 'beautiful' strength of depression. Unbelievable strong.
My favourite quote from the gallery: "My photograph talk to me. And i need to talk to myself."
If only i could take photos like these...
Labels: photography
looked up to the sky at 3/18/2007 01:25:00 AM
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Yan you looked very pretty here, should take more photos man. :)
The beautiful people of my life.
Dinner, chats, chilling out at the Esplanade... You guys just help replaced something i've tried so hard to replace.
Been going through lotsa self-condemnation, (or rather, Satan's condemn) lately and i feel like i've lost my balance already. And maybe myself. I don't feel good about myself at all. I wish i do... Because i really don't want to sink again.
Colossians 3:12
As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
So give me strength, to face this test.
What started out as an extremely grumpy, depressing day ended with smiles and forgiveness with these beloveds of mine. Oh Father lord, through high and low, i'll be ever gratetful for these gems.
Yan you looked very pretty here, should take more photos man. :)
The beautiful people of my life.
Dinner, chats, chilling out at the Esplanade... You guys just help replaced something i've tried so hard to replace.
Been going through lotsa self-condemnation, (or rather, Satan's condemn) lately and i feel like i've lost my balance already. And maybe myself. I don't feel good about myself at all. I wish i do... Because i really don't want to sink again.
Colossians 3:12
As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Labels: photos, thoughts and reflection
looked up to the sky at 3/17/2007 04:29:00 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I have my faults, but only for bursting up.
Things isn't changing, it's just that i've reached my limits after all these while.
I know things aren't always going bad... but i'm starting to fear.
You know me well, so do I (I think)
so can we please spare a thought for each other? And care like you mean it?
PS: you should still know your presence means alot, right?
A few more hours to the hand over ceremony. Mixed feeling about it. :/....
I know you mean well... but it's driving me crazy.
Sometimes, it's emo, but most of the time it isn't.
I have my faults, but only for bursting up.
Things isn't changing, it's just that i've reached my limits after all these while.
I know things aren't always going bad... but i'm starting to fear.
You know me well, so do I (I think)
so can we please spare a thought for each other? And care like you mean it?
PS: you should still know your presence means alot, right?
A few more hours to the hand over ceremony. Mixed feeling about it. :/....
Labels: emo
looked up to the sky at 3/13/2007 01:31:00 AM
Monday, March 12, 2007
How time flies. 1 whole month of wanting to find a part time job, organise my photolog, brush up my photograhpy skills ended up in stoning, gaming, eating, watching 花樣少年少女, sleeping, sleeping and more sleeping. Basically act like a pig. Argh i'm regreting already. But i'm so glad i've caught 花樣少年少女 because it's such an inspiring and nice show, and Ella and 吳尊 are just so matching!!! How i wish those rumours about them getting together are true. Ahhh! My best two beloveded idols!
I spend my last dollars on 花樣少年少女 photolog book and had to end up borrowing money from friends and kai and eating instant noodles everyday. But it's so worth it!!! Hehehehehe. So heipi.
花樣少年少女 NICE!
1 more day and i'll be enslaved to the school for months of free labour, doing the things that i'm not confident of. Can't blame anyone but myself since i've choosen this path... But i promise i'm going to put up my best attitude in everything i do now (including waking up on time). It's going to be a great feat... Father lord give me strength!
How time flies. 1 whole month of wanting to find a part time job, organise my photolog, brush up my photograhpy skills ended up in stoning, gaming, eating, watching 花樣少年少女, sleeping, sleeping and more sleeping. Basically act like a pig. Argh i'm regreting already. But i'm so glad i've caught 花樣少年少女 because it's such an inspiring and nice show, and Ella and 吳尊 are just so matching!!! How i wish those rumours about them getting together are true. Ahhh! My best two beloveded idols!
I spend my last dollars on 花樣少年少女 photolog book and had to end up borrowing money from friends and kai and eating instant noodles everyday. But it's so worth it!!! Hehehehehe. So heipi.
Labels: haha hoho
looked up to the sky at 3/12/2007 05:55:00 AM
Saturday, March 10, 2007
To all the people whom i've hurt with my super sensitivity (namely fang, may, yan, my family and of cause dearest kai)
I'm really sorry. Sorry for this short-sightedness of mine that keep me away from the good things in life, that kept focusing on the bad memories and bad past.
I'm really sorry that i'm so narrow minded. I'm really sorry that i allow myself to be a prisoner of the past. I'm really sorry i allow myself to be afraid of the future.
20 years of life, i'm not very sure of my direction. The past kept holding me back, regrets that never go away. I just can't seem to keep "treasure the present" in my mind.
就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的过和热
I feel so so blinded. i know i'm hurting the people i love. I know there's more to life.
Give me time... more time. I won't let you down.
我鼓起勇气呐喊 你要听得见 我不是你再孤单 要你拥抱 我给的温暖
我一直都在你身后等待.
It's been a rather emo period for me lately... This depressing feeling's gradually hitting me again.
To all the people whom i've hurt with my super sensitivity (namely fang, may, yan, my family and of cause dearest kai)
I'm really sorry. Sorry for this short-sightedness of mine that keep me away from the good things in life, that kept focusing on the bad memories and bad past.
I'm really sorry that i'm so narrow minded. I'm really sorry that i allow myself to be a prisoner of the past. I'm really sorry i allow myself to be afraid of the future.
20 years of life, i'm not very sure of my direction. The past kept holding me back, regrets that never go away. I just can't seem to keep "treasure the present" in my mind.
就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的过和热
I feel so so blinded. i know i'm hurting the people i love. I know there's more to life.
Give me time... more time. I won't let you down.
我鼓起勇气呐喊 你要听得见 我不是你再孤单 要你拥抱 我给的温暖
Labels: emo
looked up to the sky at 3/10/2007 06:10:00 AM
Thursday, March 1, 2007
No Macdonald, no KFC, and worse of all... no Thomson Prata!!! AHHH. Sucks big time.
Anyway, the long-awaited holiday is finally here and i'm not treasuring it. I feel so idiotic. So far i've been waking up late, going out with friends (which i really enjoyed especially with the Tous) or over to Kai's house for hours of Animal Planets (which is very very addictive) or playing the Sims 2. I'm also attempting to play World of Warcraft and i think i seriously have no talent in 3D game and would better off in playing 2D game like Maple Story. :/ Loser.
Weeks ago i've made a whole list of stuffs that are going to keep me busy and they are:
Cheeky shot.
One of the nicest people in mass comm.
Through the 'eyes' of Moo - school never look this friendly. :)
Zhixin, Kening and Lydia - i doubt you guys will ever read this, but i'm really so thankful to have you guys throughout this semester. *hugs* I'm so glad our paths crossed, praise Jesus! :D
PS: All the best to you Yutong, and i wish you'll have a great time at Australia. Wish we could go over and visit you! You'll be very much missed. God bless. :)
Last day of year 3 sem 1.
Hai, i'm sicked again. Down with sore throat and cold, i've already lost count of the amount of tissue paper i've used. It's always moment like this that makes me realise how i've taken the food i usually eat for granted. :/
No Macdonald, no KFC, and worse of all... no Thomson Prata!!! AHHH. Sucks big time.
Anyway, the long-awaited holiday is finally here and i'm not treasuring it. I feel so idiotic. So far i've been waking up late, going out with friends (which i really enjoyed especially with the Tous) or over to Kai's house for hours of Animal Planets (which is very very addictive) or playing the Sims 2. I'm also attempting to play World of Warcraft and i think i seriously have no talent in 3D game and would better off in playing 2D game like Maple Story. :/ Loser.
Weeks ago i've made a whole list of stuffs that are going to keep me busy and they are:
- read up and brush up on my photography skill.
- read Mickey's camera manual book and practise.
- find a part-time job at a photo developing shop (hopefully a professhional darkroom kind).
- organise my flickr account.
- organise my lomohome.
So far... I've done abit of #2 and that's all. AHH where does all my motivation go? It's really weird how these things kept occupying my mind when i was studying for exams and they instantly flew away right after the exam. hmm. :/
Finally... This marks the end of my year 3 semester 1. 1 more semester and it's the end of my academic years of my life. Can't say that i look forward to it, but i wish i'm graduating with the others too.
The photos took on the last day of school:
Last presentation skill in chinese class. :/
Cheeky shot.
One of the nicest people in mass comm.
Through the 'eyes' of Moo - school never look this friendly. :)
Zhixin, Kening and Lydia - i doubt you guys will ever read this, but i'm really so thankful to have you guys throughout this semester. *hugs* I'm so glad our paths crossed, praise Jesus! :D
PS: All the best to you Yutong, and i wish you'll have a great time at Australia. Wish we could go over and visit you! You'll be very much missed. God bless. :)
Labels: photos, school, thoughts and reflection
Au revoir
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