Monday, May 14, 2007
Not as if many people read my blog... Or really wanna know how i feel or what's going on my life.
I would have said that i blog for myself, like many others who would have given the same reply. But then again... I don't really write as i feel. I wrote them in an extremely abstract or subtle way so that nobody understand what the heck i'm talking about.
I just don't want these emo feelings and tears to go wasted without documenting all the depressing moments i have to go through.
I'm very afraid... Because my depressing and suicidal thoughts are slowing creeping back to me.
I kept questioning myself about my own worth. In the eyes of God, family, friends... And especially in school. Would you still see me as the sensitive, annoying and boring soul?
You. Can you please don't bombard me with yourself only and be nicer to me?
You. Can you be less defensive when you're talking to me and stop making me sound like i'm an idiot when i ask you stuffs? It's really very tired...
You. Can you stop whispering or walk among yourself? I really tried to catch up but i ended up looking like another loser.
You. Would you take your eyes off her and realise that i'm smiling and waving to you too?
You. Would you smile and talk to me too?
You. Do you really want to share your thoughts with me or are you just attention seeking?
YOU ALL. Would you listen to me like how i tried so hard to listen to you?
I'm so.... tired. Who am i?
Weight of the World.
Sometimes i really wonder why i blog.
Not as if many people read my blog... Or really wanna know how i feel or what's going on my life.
I would have said that i blog for myself, like many others who would have given the same reply. But then again... I don't really write as i feel. I wrote them in an extremely abstract or subtle way so that nobody understand what the heck i'm talking about.
I just don't want these emo feelings and tears to go wasted without documenting all the depressing moments i have to go through.
I'm very afraid... Because my depressing and suicidal thoughts are slowing creeping back to me.
I kept questioning myself about my own worth. In the eyes of God, family, friends... And especially in school. Would you still see me as the sensitive, annoying and boring soul?
You. Can you please don't bombard me with yourself only and be nicer to me?
You. Can you be less defensive when you're talking to me and stop making me sound like i'm an idiot when i ask you stuffs? It's really very tired...
You. Can you stop whispering or walk among yourself? I really tried to catch up but i ended up looking like another loser.
You. Would you take your eyes off her and realise that i'm smiling and waving to you too?
You. Would you smile and talk to me too?
You. Do you really want to share your thoughts with me or are you just attention seeking?
YOU ALL. Would you listen to me like how i tried so hard to listen to you?
I'm so.... tired. Who am i?
Labels: emo
Au revoir
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