under the grey sky...

Goodbye immortallygreysky :]

2011-03-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

I do not care enough what should I say
I'm poor in putting my thought into beautiful words
I've never known myself better than now
I'm trying hard to be honest...to everyone

B(lue) day.

2011-01-07T21:28:00.003+08:00

I'm not ready for it.

Just like the many experiences of life, it is looming towards me by the minute, whether I'm prepared or not.

Here I am, alone in my room, preparing myself as if I'm going for some sacred ritual.

I wish I could dismiss it too.

But now that I've done it, I've regretted.

It's really not easy trying to go to the extreme side.
A part of me really want to give in. But the irrational side of me refuse to call for help.

Nonetheless, at least that's one lesson learn right? One unforgettable lesson.

Goodbye 23.

Hello 24. Let's 加油 together.

Waiting, Hoping Chasing, Drowning.

2011-01-07T01:33:00.003+08:00

I don't know where I'm at
I'm standing at the back
And I'm tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find what I've been chasing.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why its coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I'm missing way too much
So when do I give up what Ive been wishing for.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why its coming down, down, down.

Oh I am going down, down, down
Cant find another way around
And I don't want to hear the sound

Of losing what I never found.

Jason Walker - Down

Wall of encouragement

2010-12-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

This's pretty old... But it never fails to cheer me up to know that my amateur photos are being appreciated. When everything's finally over, I'm so going to make it up to my beloved neglected cameras.

Thank you May May for recognizing them. :D

All I want for Christmas...

2010-12-15T00:26:00.005+08:00

Here we are again. The last month of the year.
There is absolutely nothing that I do not love about it.

The sight of Christmas decorations
Winter clothing on display that makes you all warm and fuzzy (okie i know we're in a tropical country :[)
Christmas carols
How Starbucks look so welcoming
How everybody seems to be happier, and more forgiving
The beautiful truth of this festival...

I guess we all look forward to the end of something
Be it a school semester, the entire academic life, or even good things like holiday trips.
It makes you feel accomplished so that you can move to greater heights.

I guess that's why I love December so much.
At the end of the year, it allows me to savor the good and be hopeful toward the not-so-good events for the last time.

Before a brand new start.

Built me and mend me.

Hello lady

2010-11-30T00:04:00.000+08:00

Absolutely love these looks from Jac+Jake!

Gonna turn 24 in a month+ time... *twitch abit*
I really really reallllyyyy wanna look like the above than an underage twit. T_T

You revisit the same place where you left off.

2010-11-27T14:06:00.006+08:00

It's always easier to fall back into the arms of sadness and depression.

When you're all alone wondering why the hell did such misfortune happens on you...

"I've tried so hard, why did it still happen?"
"Can't you see I care?"
"Why did it happen to me??"

Self-pity's like the only companion you can seek comfort in.

It's so easy, that you can't stop dwelling in that wretched darkness and comfort yourself that it's not your fault.
Then you watch the people around you moving forward.
You wish to go with them. But they drawn you like a huge magnet.

I still revisit them all the time.
I guess everybody do too.

But this time round, I won't be staying too long. *I promise*

Please grab my hand and dash for the exit if you see me staying too long.

:)

Love

2010-11-22T23:37:00.005+08:00

Love.

My family, my friends... And the people who have came and left my life.
They amaze me with their love, and their ability of making me love them back in a way that I have never expected to do.

The love was very genuine at that very moment. It has generated so much joy that I could have never forget my whole life, and got has through so many obstacles.

Some love sustained through all odds.
Others, stopped without a warning, leaving you lost for years.
Some just didn't turn out right despite how hard you try.

The bible says:

1 Corinthians 13

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

If love is patient, why are we hurting each other with it?
If love is kind, why does it come with complicating consequences?
If love is torturous, why can't I stop thinking about those who have hurt us?
If it can destroy my world within seconds but leave you in pain for years, why do I still think of it all the time?

Then... My gaze stopped at the last sentence:

⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails... ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Oh God, please renew my spirit.
Change my heart and allow me to love the way You want it to be.
Give me hope that the past mistakes will be corrected.

Let us be found. Again.

Please lord.

Amen.

With faith, with faith...

2010-11-11T19:32:00.006+08:00

They say time will heal everything.
But I've never expect this wound to be this huge.
There's nothing I could say or defend now...
Because what I've done to salvage, I know them deep within me.
It would only sound like an excuse or desperate defense now.

Let our jaded/hurt/disappointed selves dwell in this silence...
Heal...

Pray and faith will lead the way.

加油selina！

2010-10-27T00:10:00.003+08:00

It seems like only yesterday when they were in town for Singapore concert, when I attended their Taipei concert, when I saw her shed tears of happiness when finally got the love that she truly deserved.

Even though she's not the most inspiring one among the three, I still adore her for making the bond complete. Despite all the examples of stale relationships that could not withstand the test of time in reality, she have proved that true friendship can still be found even at the most difficult places - showbiz.

My heart aches so badly when I heard about her injury first hand from my boss, in Korea.
How could this happen to such a beautiful girl with bright future?

但看到你身邊愛護你的人，不計任何外傳的意外交代，一心一意的專注在你身上，哪怕不能第一時間見面，還是耐心等待一個機會。

雖然真的於心不忍，但這應該是人生最大的領悟吧。

公主selina歌詞：

會痛嗎，那一下下我的心都碎啦，你豆大的淚珠不停的落下，你卻沒有忘了堅強。
心疼嗎，愛你的人心當然會疼啊，公主selina，你受了點傷，你還是我的公主呀。
selina輕輕甩著長頭髮，飄來一陣陣的香，我注定屬於她！
selina粉紅色來形容她，驕豔玫瑰也只為她芬芳！

Hebe微薄：

認識老婆這十年在她身上看到及偷學到的就是永遠樂觀面對所有事物, 活在當下, 愛自己, 永不樹敵廣結善緣與世界和諧相處...所以我清楚的明白這次的逆境只會讓她更堅強這樣的經歷只會讓她的智慧倍數成長心靈更是成熟雖然百般不忍她必須經歷這樣的折磨但現在我們也只能學習她永遠樂觀向陽!

愿上天能把我們滿滿的祝福傳給你。。。祈禱你永遠都會那麼動人，美麗。。
加油selina！

再会, 永远的女孩

2010-10-19T00:31:00.003+08:00

I was lying on my bed, 賴床-ing last Saturday morning when I first this song.

再会永远的女孩
再会我们的期待
你给我的爱离不开

I swear that for that very moment, I could almost feel the evening breeze, and see those gorgeous mountains at 九份.

I missed...

Happy birthday 老爸!

2010-10-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday dearest 世紀新好男人!

Thank you for learning to let go of your daughter even though it's beyond your character.
Thank you for silently support your daughter even though you know she has chosen the harder path.

Though I only show it through patting of your back and you'll probably never get to see this blog, I really want to you to know that I love you.

I thank God everyday for a awesome father like you.

Hoping.

2010-10-08T01:00:00.006+08:00

We're not fragile, we're just learning to cope.

One day... we will eventually get it.

Stuffs you learn anyway in life (whether you like it or not)

2010-10-04T13:46:00.000+08:00

We learn different things about life and the people around us everyday.
Through conversations, sights or daily happenings that you might share with people you know or you don't.. But I always reckon that I learn things at a slightly different frequency.

Here's to share some of my favourite cartoons from one of my favourite websites:
Stuff No One Told You

Hahaha small dick.

What's yours?

To Isabel:

2010-09-16T01:26:00.001+08:00

能約出來的人都約光
能吃得下的早已吃光
很用力談笑比哭還絕望
怎麼挨得到打烊

我以為痛苦可以分散
於是我忙到不能再忙
忙到忘記了洗掉你所有短訊
一字一巴打在我臉上

思念太猖狂一個冷不防
一想起你忙碌的生活變得空蕩蕩
對心事說謊把你想到多麼的不堪
偉大的你還想我怎樣

我以為工作能夠療傷
甚至恨不得病倒再算
沒力氣遐想誰知癱瘓在床上
越發渴望你就在身旁

思念太猖狂一個冷不防
一想起你忙碌的生活變得空蕩蕩
對心事說謊把你想到多麼的不堪
偉大的你還想我怎樣

你也太猖狂一個冷不防
睡到一半才覺醒療傷先要哭一場
對世界說謊只把自己哄騙得更慘
想得到釋放只有投降

田馥甄－你太猖狂
詞: 林夕曲: 陳小霞編曲: 王治平

思念，是永遠餵不飽的饞

Count my blessing #2

2010-09-15T00:52:00.003+08:00

Once again, my CRUNCH WEEK is here to visit again.
And guess what? My great-aunt decided to tag along too... awwwesome

There are times when I truly appreciate and don't mind being buried under the larger-than-life workload.

But this week has been really harsh and I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna survive it without disrupting my 'work-ethic momentum' that took me 3 whole years to build...

After my 3rd consecutive night from leaving my office at 11/12am, today I received a SMS at work from my papa saying:

"Papa bought 6 pc kfc egg tarts 4 u."

and came home to totally un-touched (usually he will steal a bite) box of my favourite KFC eggtarts.

Incidentally, I learnt about my classmate's dad's abrupt death today on facebook. I'm overwhelmed with the responsibilities his dad has bore for the family before left and the responsibilities my friend is picking up now.

I'm pretty awkward at expressing my love for my parents, but I really thankful to God, for granting me such a wonderful father. He's really one great man who have sacrifice alot for us and I love him alot.

Right now, I'm pretty energised with my papa 愛心 KFC egg tarts already. :]

Bonjour Paris

2010-09-08T00:38:00.006+08:00

I would love to set off on a long trip
and be a drifter

London Paris Barcelona
Israel Greece Ireland

I would love to embark on a journey
with accepting my true self as the final destination.

I'll come home with a possibly empty wallet *okie just not bankrupt la*
but also a fuller heart
and a complete self.

After all,
mission is only considered accomplished when you're home.

I would love to...

Count my blessing #1

2010-09-01T23:27:00.008+08:00

I remembered reading one of Fang's blog entry on her past look/hairstyles and it spurned my interest of doing something similar. But not having learnt the importance of back-up, I lost all my images after 2008.... BAH!

So in an attempt to retrieve my old pics, I dedicated myself to reading my besties' blogs archive all over again for the past one month.

But I've found more than just images of our past outings and heipi times; tears and laughter, fragments of our past memories, dangerous yet cherished reminders of who I used to be.

No amount of apology can ever make up to what I've lost. Similarly, I can't be ever more grateful to be appeased with my current state *i think*. I remembered during one of my many late night chat with May, I came to a revelation that my life's actually ain't bad but I guessed I'm a pretty short-sighted/ dramatic *pui pui* / sensitive to see.

With this thought still freshly in mind, I'll like to start counting my blessing and make my way back to the chirpy girl I used to know.

Here goes:

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

And so, I am blessed.

剝離了回憶開始尋找孤單找到了孤單就不怕寂寞了。。。

2010-08-26T22:57:00.012+08:00

寂寞寂寞就好
詞:施人誠
曲:楊子樸

還是原來那個我　不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾　遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容
不算什麼　愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯　早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好　這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去　痛到　受不了　想到　快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好　你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會　笨到　忘不了　賴著　不放掉
人本來就寂寞的　借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你　是我自己做夢你又改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用　每個人有每個人的業障因果
會有什麼　什麼都沒有
早點看破　才看的見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好　這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去　痛到　受不了　想到　快瘋掉
死不了就還好
我寂寞寂寞就好　你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會　笨到　忘不了　賴著　不放掉
人本來就寂寞的　借來的都該還掉

我總會把你戒掉

是不是到達孤單的盡頭，就不會用害怕寂寞了。。。？

Our common mistakes

2010-08-23T23:31:00.003+08:00

"容易用錯力道愛別人愛得暈頭轉向，而忘了要先恰好的愛著自己、完整自己才有能力好好的愛人。" Hebe

Absolutely love and agree with this quote from Hebe.
It's so true, so simple, something that we should all know as if it's our second nature...
Yet so many have failed to see... And learnt it the hard way.

Right now, I really just want to live my life well.
Learn my mistakes well.

Before I can love someone well.

Prisoner of time

2010-08-22T23:53:00.016+08:00

I still think of you everyday, every moment. The road that we once walked, the embrace we shared in our room, the tears and shouting that happened in the corner of my house. It's almost like watching it happening again in the every bits and corner that we used to share. Only difference is that they're all empty spaces and will never be filled up again. If only I've knew it's gonna be this hard. It hurts so so badly that I wish we have not met. How can I ever move on? How can i stop reminiscence the past that no longer exist? How can I stop being a time's prisoner, your prisoner? You're in my dreams, my subconscious, no matter how hard i try to occupy myself, I just can't shake you off my head. There's simply nothing I can do but to be defeated and let it filled my mind without putting a fight. For you, I've paid a heavy price that I'll never do again. But why is your past still living inside me, reminding me of your presence? You once said that I've unleashed the devil in you. He has now stayed put inside and there's just no way I can get rid of it. You've changed. I've changed. We're probably no longer the person we once fall hard for. You'll never know bliss and torture of waking up from a dream, where i can still feel you, fighting for me, your face and embrace, only to face the harsh truth that i am the only one that's left. 4 years, I find myself back here, at the very same spot where I tried to move. I just really want to be free... from you.

怎麼這世界每個人都愛別人，不愛自己？

2010-08-07T01:17:00.004+08:00

一個憂鬱的小女孩
想要在旅程中尋快樂
［為甚麼都找不到我想要的世界？］，小女孩迷惘了

原來愛在每個人的心中

唯有先愛自己，才有能力去愛別人

How true and valuable, to have receive this advice from this singer... And at such a timing.
It almost felt like a guide from God... Then again, it could be. :)

Who's the singer of this mesmerizing vocal you asked?
Stay tuned to 11th August. :)

謝謝你的美好

2010-08-04T23:09:00.006+08:00

4 years.

It was 4 years ago when i first established this blog and settled on my previous layout.
I was going through a rough patch of my life and decided to have a metaphoric new start by having a new blog.

That's also when i met him again.
Never in my wildest dream would I expect him to be the one who would pull me up through the darkest time of my life, and for our lives to be twined so closely together.

Like this blog, he was there for me through tears and laughter, and has witnessed all my negative and positive changes.

千言萬語盡在不言中
錯的痛苦叫無辜對的認真叫糊塗

It's hard, and it's taking much more effort and rationality to adapt.
I know nobody will struggle as much as he did, it was a struggling decision for me too.
But it had to be done, at least for us... At least for him.

It is time... for a new beginning again.

Nobody can be sure of what to expect of the future... Just like how he made his entrance into my life.
But there's no doubt he's my Godsend angel and will always have a special place in my heart.

謝謝
謝謝你栩栩如生的美好

需要點時間沈澱

2010-07-31T11:55:00.003+08:00

嚴爵 - 需要點時間沈澱

多少人值得等
等一個值得我認真
認真了沒有恨
恨不了愛過的靈魂

塞翁失馬焉知非福
懂了追尋的幸福
得到了什麼現在又再痛苦什麼
好與壞...

需要點時間沉澱
沉澱需要點時間
沉澱時間需要久點
喔～太多事情在改變

多少事值得忍
忍多了會不會太悶
我寧可有點笨
還相信手中的責任

塞翁失馬焉知非福
懂了追尋的幸福
得到了什麼現在又再痛苦什麼
好與壞...

需要點時間沉澱
沉澱需要點時間
沉澱時間需要久點
喔～太多事情在改變

誰的選擇是對的選擇誰錯 (要怎樣不會有錯)
我的決定是真的決定我不怕錯
錯的痛苦叫無辜對的認真叫糊塗

需要點時間沉澱
沉澱需要點時間
沉澱時間需要久點
喔～太多事情在改變

需要點時間沉澱 (需要點時間沉澱)
沉澱需要點時間 (沉澱需要點時間)
沉澱時間需要久點 (沉澱時間需要久點)

太多時間在改變
需要點時間沉澱
沉澱需要點時間
沉澱時間需要久點

旅行的意義

2010-06-23T02:11:00.004+08:00

My new hair-do for summer/taiwan. Shortest Iength I've ever sported...

Due to wake up for airport in 4 hours time... But yet I'm still up doing facial. Ha!

I'm still pretty excited despite this being my 5th visit to Taiwan already. ZzZz
But really, it's the company that counts. :]

Really hope to take this opportunity to break away and clear up my mind from all the haze fogging up my mind lately.

This is after all, 旅行的意義.

Jiayou May Fang Kai Zj and Anfu! Yan you'll be dearly missed. *hugs*

失眠

2010-06-21T03:04:00.000+08:00

失眠 / 愛到瘋癲
詞曲：Ella

徹底失眠
就在沒有你的夜
我把你放在我記憶的深處
就這樣想你不想睡

徹底失眠
原來思念沒有終點
我恨我愛你愛到我崩潰
沒有終點

沒有終點。。。

Sunny days are hard to come back lately.

2010-06-14T22:47:00.003+08:00

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Note to self...

2010-06-09T23:20:00.002+08:00

Made and learn a mistake today...

Almost 3 weeks ago, I saw a clothing that I absolutely must have.
It was a black cardigan. Full of eyeballs.

My usual shopping pattern is to 'survey' for other alternatives, or re-visit the store as many time as I want, think seriously on how i can carry that outfit, go home and think again.
I'll do it even if the sales person can recongise and get fed up with me.

I know I've fallen in love with the eyeball cardigan instantly, but the price tag require serious reflection.

Tried to look for funds for it, could have gotten my mother to sponsor it, but eventually I know I can't count on our unstable relationships.

Think of it almost everyday and finally today, went back to buy it.

IT'S GONE.
IT'S SOLD.

My heart is broken... I'll pay that freaking 140bucks now.
Just let me have my eyeball cardigan please...

Note to self: Buy it no matter how your wallet says no and limit your 'survey' duration to 1 week instead.

風沙星辰　永遠相伴

2010-06-02T00:16:00.010+08:00

第一次經過沿海公路到台北

The famous 麻辣鍋 (have to make reservation at least 1 week beforehand!) 還是鴛鴦的！

New-found love: duck-blood

幸福－ing at 士林夜市 (double chin alert :'[)

What you see when you stepped out of my company's lift..

Enjoying a nice cup of Hazelnut latte at 誠品 bookstore at 12am~

早餐是 Rock and Roll!!!

Oh my love~ my mee sua

忠孝東路東區

台北lomography embassy

從台北回來已經快2天了，還在High中
感動中
感慨中

一場演唱會
把親情，友情，愛情，熱情都集合在一起
原來人生可以這樣的燦爛
原來愛而為一的力量
是如此的震撼

我們是那麼的近又遙遠
但我似乎好像可以感受到你們1／10 的難過和幸福
更不敢相信，我竟然有這個機會可以分享到你們這份幸福，我已經忍不住留下喜悅的眼淚。。。

雖然偶爾會孤單　雖然等候太漫長　萬一青春太短~ 但是只要看遠方　就能再堅定信仰　只有最好的你能　給最好的愛

我的夢想實現了，我真的可以死而無憾了:D

Counting down to S.H.E is the ONE Taipei concert!

2010-05-26T01:46:00.004+08:00

In 10 more hours, I'll be making my 1st ever pilgrimage trip to watch S.H.E is the One Taipei concert!!! Like finally!

Had wanted to attend their 1st show last october at Hong Kong... But there's gonna be new content and extended stage for Taipei's concert! WOOHOO!!! *do wheel cart*

Can't wait to scream my lungs out and truly enjoy the concert as a fan again, though i wish my SHEROS and HERO are there too. (Note to self: try to ignore my boss's presence beside me)

Hello Taipei again! I'm ready to cast my trouble behind!

A practice

2010-05-24T00:55:00.000+08:00

每天都是一种新的练习詞陳綺貞曲陳綺貞

好幾天了沒有你的消息
才發現其實想著你

當愛被緊緊的鎖在心底
自由就張開翅膀飛出去

還需要一點幽默的心情
才能面對你失望的離去

快樂的氣氛也許能暫時逃避
卻又讓傷害更徹底

我被恐懼深深的囚禁
我沒有力氣逃出去

每一天都是新的練習
用今天換走過去
用明天換走失去的

Recently I came to a revelation that I've been too dependent to the people around me.

I count on them to include me into their conversation, expect them to care for me when I'm too quiet or moody cause I'm too awkward to initial... Expect them to spare their thoughts on me cause they're my best friend or family.

But even the best of friends can disagree and fall off.
Even mothers can go bonkers and hurt their child through all those madness...
Nobody is really dependable for your hurt and insecurities... Except God and yourself.

I'll keep practising... Let this song be my mantra.

We're just partly cloudy... right?

2010-05-14T00:15:00.003+08:00

Vidivodo.com : partly cloudy Etiket: partly cloudy new short movie

I need time to think
sort my thoughts
act rationally
persuade myself that those cold words are actually words of concern
through the salvation of these relationships
convince myself that I won't lose another piece of me to please them

Have faith, have faith.
That's what they always say.

I need alot of time...

That's my boy / pa.

2010-05-05T00:53:00.003+08:00

I'm very seldom happy about giving money away (especially from my measly pay), but giving my pa 家用 (token amount somemore) and seeing his toothless smile (removed his denture as he's preparing to sleep) really warm my heart after a long tired day.

就算下星期不去英國，遠方的你還是找不到我。

2010-04-29T23:49:00.004+08:00

也許時空無情的讓我們改變太多，但做為朋友，永遠為你加油。

下個星期去英國詞陳綺貞曲陳綺貞

你收了行李下個星期要去英國，
遙遠的故事記得帶回來給我，
我知道我想要，卻又不敢對你說，
因為我已改變太多。

你改了一個名字也準備換工作，
你開始了新的戀情有一些困惑，
我知道你想要，卻又不敢對我說，
因為你已改變太多。

你寫了好幾首屬於你的歌，
這樣的歌隱藏了太多苦澀，
我知道你想要
卻又不敢對我說，
因為我曾是你，我曾是你，
無話不說的朋友。

因為，我們改變太多。

Love makes the ride worthwhile.

2010-04-29T00:53:00.001+08:00

10 years and counting...

愛而為一

2010-04-15T23:10:00.004+08:00

In less than 24 hours... I'm gonna realise my dream.

The dream that has kept me going through those mass comm days and hellish working days.
The dream that taught me what 'passion' truly means.
As well as 'patience', 'perseverance'...

You may think that it's nothing more than some fan-girl's dream with no actual social worth at all.

But their songs signify the best memories of my life.
The laughter I've made.
As well as the tears I've cried.
It was their songs that showed me the unlimited boundaries of friendships.
It was their songs that accompanied me through those heartbroken moments.

So many times, I've almost let it slipped and thought it'll never come true.

Thank You God, for the opportunity, perseverance, determination and grace.

I cannot be more blessed than ever to have come to this far.
This is definitely that 1 moment in life that I'll remember for life. I'm gonna savor and remember every moment as much as I can...

S.H.E is the One 愛而為一

Love makes the ride worthwhile. :]

We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.

2010-04-13T23:35:00.005+08:00

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.”

I wonder when the day will come when I'll be no longer constantly trying to prove myself to you and myself.

2010-04-07T01:00:00.004+08:00

Credits: Danielle

I love you and your concern. But it's suffocating me...

Despite all our differences...

2010-03-30T00:37:00.002+08:00

credits: Melissa

Shall we create something beautiful together?

SHERO is LOVE!!!

2010-03-27T01:02:00.004+08:00

Today, 26th of March, is an even busier/crazier day where everybody's on fury mode.
But it's okie because today is the day S.H.E release their awesome-ness album!!!

I swear for a moment... Everything seems to be okie :]

Miss communicating with each and every one of camera...

2010-03-25T00:07:00.007+08:00

Date: Oct 2009
First photo-taking trip with Yan on my Diana and Yan's Blackbird.

We should do this more often... :]

I could go on with my day and act like everything is okay. But as my life goes on it hurts more in every way.

2010-03-16T01:42:00.002+08:00

Exhausted... I'm really exhausted beyond words.
Everything I do seems to be going wrong/misinterpreted.
If this is what i want why am i so bitter about it?
If this is what i want why am i losing the people around me instead?
If this is what i want why am i losing myself and my life?

Is this all worth it?
Have i overestimated my own passion and determination?

3 years ago i gave myself a time limit.
That I'll let go if i still can't find my place here.

But where do i go from here?
Everything that i once worked and tolerate so hard for, seem to be nothing but an ugly truth.
I'm so utterly lost now...

Am i not good enough for greater things
or is this stopping me from greater things in life?

You'll never know how depressed i am... For i've single-handedly choose and craved my own path to my cave of bitterness... In return of a 'dream'.

Vampire without teeth

2010-03-09T23:58:00.005+08:00

"There were some buildings... There were these really tall buildings, and they could walk. Then there were some vampires. And one of the vampires bit the tallest building, and his fangs broke off. Then all his other teeth fell out. Then he started crying. And then, all the other vampires said, 'Why are you crying? Weren't those just your baby teeth?' And he said, 'No. Those were my grown up teeth.' And the vampires knew he couldn't be a vampire anymore, so they left him. The end."

Max, Where The Wild Things Are

I wanna visit Bushrangers Bay, Australia too.

Where the wild things are... is where i wanna be.

2010-03-08T23:36:00.007+08:00

Inside all of us is... HOPE
Inside all of us is... FEAR
Inside all of us is... ADVENTURE

Inside all of us is a WILD THING

Apart from it's draggy story plot towards the end, I absolutely love this movie.
Everything from the characters... cinematography, and soundtrack is so whimsical.

If only we can unleash that inner child inside our frustrating bodies/minds.
If only i can be a child... Once again.

Our most beloved Chao Gui (black jelly in thai)...

2010-03-04T23:21:00.010+08:00

annabel with chao gui!

leon with chao gui. (her position's so cute!)

cheryl with chao gui.

silly chao gui so loved by us!

our beloved sleep bug!

sleeping through the entire monopoly game... Hah!

my dearest baby... If only i can rock you to sleep everyday...

miss your little cuddly paw...

the shirt i bought chao gui...

cutest FBI agent in the whole wide world!

How i wish i could watch you grow up... Will you forget me the next time i return?

Please don't forget me Chao Gui darling. :'(

I just wish we weren't so far apart.

2010-02-25T23:42:00.010+08:00

Still suffering from post-chiangmai trip.
Still can't stop sobbing whenever i see Black Jelly's photos... I hate separations.

But only then will i learn how to appreciate my families, the beauty of Singapore and Chiangmai.

I just wish it wasn't so tempting... so hard to deal with.

Can you put a price in your dream? (Tony, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus)

2010-02-03T00:29:00.007+08:00

Today is a difficult day.

作詞：姚若龍
作曲：李雙飛

大樓很高捷運很快可是天很灰
城市裡面我寄居在邊緣
想拿夢擦出火焰

腳步很忙渴望很烈可是路很遠
有多疲憊一關燈才發覺
思念蜿蜒流過了胸前

遠赴天涯找的幸福卻近在眼前
你的寬容洗滌我累積的傷悲
守護我領悟什麼才是原點
碎裂過的人要從擁抱去縫合對愛的理解

放下從前找的未來卻近在眼前
你的身旁才是會開花的世界
我告別閃耀卻迷亂的一切
在風裡回來溫暖又讓麻木的靈魂重燃感覺

考驗很多改變很難可是夢很美
抬頭想到你會陪我向前
就能奮不顧身的堅決

遠赴天涯找的幸福卻近在眼前
你的寬容洗滌我累積的傷悲
守護我領悟什麼才是原點
碎裂過的人要從擁抱去縫合對愛的理解

放下從前找的未來卻近在眼前
你的身旁才是會開花的世界
我告別閃耀卻迷亂的一切
在風裡回來溫暖又讓麻木的靈魂重燃感覺

有了體會夢才能慢慢實現
有了陪伴小窗變藍天
有了感動愛長成幸福的果園
有燈火能回頭是多麼感謝的依戀

Sometimes i really just wanna let go of everything, grab my bag and stuffs and move overseas, away from this materialistic lifestyle.

Maybe I will one day, when I have the ability to take good care of my Pa.

There must be something more to life, other than getting discouraged with this endless taken-for-granted life / people.

But I realised how much I've been sounding like them all these while.

I'll try my very best to count my blessing, despite how simple this could be done but yet it always slips my mind.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Hello Tokyo!

2010-01-20T22:53:00.008+08:00

Things i never go overseas without.

Akasaka, Tokyo

Real authentic maple tree (unlike farmville's)!

S.H.E in Japan!

Shibuya

We had strawberry ice cream cheesecake crepes!

Hello 23...

There i was, here i am.

2010-01-14T23:19:00.006+08:00

Hello 2010!
Hello to the newly wedded Mr and Mrs Pai!
Hello Tokyo for the very first time!
Hello erm... 23!

Be still
Be in awe...
Be humble,
Be inspired.

Merry + lonely christmas...

2009-12-28T00:55:00.005+08:00

This year's Christmas I'm on the verge of losing my Christmas spirit....

If I could turn back time, I wish I hadn't do that for anybody or for any matter.
But i guess I would be I'll be some kind of saint if i could control it...

So... still wanna wish everybody a MERRY CHRISTMAS cause it's my favourite-st holiday ever!

1 long year to the next Christmas again. I wish it wouldn't be such a long wait...
Hopefully it'll be a more peaceful and white Christmas!

Crash & Burn

2009-12-15T23:51:00.001+08:00

Quite often when i learn something new from the people around me, I'm really amazed at we could have so many similar thoughts/feelings.

It's so comforting to know that among the billions and billions of people who have walked through the very same spot/place/streets, you are still somewhat connected to a stranger.
It make me wanna run up to them, hold them tight and tell them that it's okie to feel that way, I feel the same too!

Call it fate, or luck. Even with the same insecurities/doubts/problems as compared to the rest, we often ended up as the more 'unfortunate/misunderstood' ones.

It just make me feel so lonely and helpless that even if others would have met with the same unfortunate events, have the same insecurities, their lives will still return on tracks faster than yours.

Am i just less strong-willed?
Or could there be a hidden story for everybody?
Is a person making a mistake by 'exposing' their insecurities in a dog-eat-dog society like ours?

I supposed this is life, and if I could find the answer to this, I would easily find the answers to many questions of life too.

But right now, thinking about this has made me .... for quite a bit again.

Right now, all i want to do now is to excel without losing myself.

Hello Jakarta!

2009-12-06T00:43:00.004+08:00

Hello nice Indonesian cuisine (beehoon goreng Indonesian style!).
Hello Blackberry!
Hello to the music-loving Indonesians!
Hello to the 'leftover' goats and cows from Hari Raya on the streets.
Hello to the happening music culture in Indonesia.

Hello to failing and learning new lessons...
Thank you God for this experiences... :]

你知道什麼, 我又知道什麼。。。

2009-11-18T00:48:00.002+08:00

关於我关於我你知道什麼
我的快乐我的忧伤
我的理想和寂寞
关於我关於我你知道什麼
我的来头我的去处
我的过程和结束
关於我啊我
关於我啊我。。。

Title: 关于我
Album: 感官世界
Artist: 林宥嘉

If it's just you and me...

2009-11-10T23:18:00.002+08:00

愛而為一

2009-11-09T22:53:00.002+08:00

Ella：“团体就是团体，没有个人这件事。要爱彼此，团体的利益必须在个人利益之上。”

Having a blue day...

2009-11-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

Usually i'll be listening to emo songs and drown myself in my blues...

Just, I decided i'll pick myself out from the blues when i'm still conscious.

Corrinne May - Angel In Disguise

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed and
dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

Oh~ But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
And I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

Oh~ But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Oooh~~

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new

The key to life.

2009-10-29T00:33:00.002+08:00

Something is missing within me.
You are missing within me.

How can we become closer?
How can i find belonging under Your wings?
Teach me, guide me, find me.

Please let me be your pride.

What happen.

2009-10-28T00:40:00.005+08:00

Have been coughing non-stop for 2 whole weeks already...
Granny gotten stroke and my Ma need us back in Chiang Mai asap but we're tied down with work...

Felt like i'm going round in the same spot at work... Without any improvement, that is.

I wish i could act like a 22. an aspiring youth from the modern era. someone who is confident, youthful, passionate and capable of basic socializing.

But i'm like an old woman trapped in a young body who can't stop whining, so insecured.

Is there anything wrong with me?
I'm just so tired...

Eat what you see... See what you eat!

2009-10-13T00:38:00.004+08:00

Was having a serious case of monday blues... Until i saw Yoga's latest MV!

曲：韓星洲詞：黃偉文編曲：呂紹淳、韓星洲

穿裙子的男生舉啞鈴的女生

中間的眾生我都不用太熟直接生吞

勁爆的肉身和貧血的靈魂

貫徹博愛精神大開食戒無所不能

Hey Boys挑什麽看見什麼吃什麽

Hey Girls等什麽吃壞好過沒吃過

Everybody忍什麽前面那個好香哦

吃最補的唐僧吃最毒的爛人

不吃不可能知道他們會含什麽養份

Oh Oh Oh Oh Yeah 飲食要均衡

我愛素也愛葷一網打盡好歹不分

Hey Boys 挑什麽看見什麼吃什麽

Hey Girls 等什麽吃壞好過沒吃過

Hey Hey Boys挑什麽看見什麼愛什麽

Hey Girls等什麽餓着反正也餓着

不管人鬼神豬牛羊鷄鴨鵝

大開食戒不放過 Yeah

Hey Boys挑什麽看見什麼吃什麽

Hey Girls等什麽吃壞好過沒吃過

Everybody忍什麽前面那個好香哦

Hey Boys挑什麽看見什麼吃什麽

Hey Girls等什麽吃飽就不寂寞

Hey Hey Boys 挑什麽看見什麼愛什麽

Hey Girls等什麽偏食的小孩難進天國

Hey Boys挑什麽看見什麼吃什麽

Hey Girls等什麽你敢吃什麼你就超越什麼

Hey Boys Hey Hey Girls

Hey Boys Hey Hey Girls

Hey Boys Hey Hey Girls

看見什麼吃什麼

It's ironic...

2009-10-11T22:39:00.002+08:00

How we see each other so frequently,

but we're worlds apart.

I feel so...

My egg basket...

2009-10-06T00:43:00.004+08:00

I remember the days when i was so depressed and sad that i don't feel hungry or the need to eat anymore. I think i lost about 5 kgs within 1 month... (Though i wish i'm still that thin..)

Today i felt it again.
But thank God, it didn't last long.

Dear God, I wish i'm counting my blessings rather than living in the past.

without you it's just a waste of time.

2009-09-24T00:34:00.006+08:00

Well... I'm back from Taipei for more than 2 weeks already... (& more ...)

Actually, I'm here to post some of my favourite photos from my Thailand trip (which was 3 months ago -_-)

Okie bye. :]

It is here!

2009-09-05T03:25:00.002+08:00

The end is finally here!!!

i'm finally going to be home!

I MISS HOME!!!

Wish you were here...

2009-08-28T01:47:00.004+08:00

西門酊，士林夜市、五分埔、永康街、微風廣場、師大夜市、New York New York、華納威秀、新光三越、誠品書局。。。Etc
I think I'm starting to get use to exploring Taipei on my own... Jiayou!

On a sad note, my supersampler Mee Mee died on me again... :'[ Really wish i could afford on a new camera...

8 more days to Singapore.

失落的國度

2009-08-26T01:48:00.003+08:00

While waiting for Tim at 西門酊 a week ago... Couldn't help to pick up on the route Kai, Yan and Singwei used to walk a year ago.

Everything was still the same. The graffiti that we once admired at, the stores that we used to stop by...

But you guys weren't here.
Felt abit lost when i almost turn around wanting to get an opinion on something, only to realise that nobody will hold my hand, or wait patiently for me this time round.

Maybe i'll get used to traveling on my own after a while.

Fly away

2009-08-19T02:31:00.002+08:00

"When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
ohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Corrinne May - Fly Away

I'll be home on 5th September instead...

酒後心聲

2009-08-12T01:49:00.004+08:00

Just came back from a welcome dinner held by my most passionate colleagues in Taipei.
I've never ever drank so much (at least 10 cups of beer), puke twice and walk back to my seat without anyone to help, still head over to KTV then back home, bathe and typing these... All Sober and clear.

Actually i'm still trying to drink some milk to help myself 酒醒.

But i guess alcohol really help magnify every emotions that you're having at that very moment.

I almost tear when i heard one of my colleague calling up Merisa when i was half-drunk toasting everybody in my table (there were 2 table to toast!) to inform her that i'm in 'good hands.

Don't get me wrong, I've certainly enjoyed their 'warm' hospitality despite their contsant sarcasm. I really appreciate the chance of working in Taipei for such a long period. I'm still deeply in love with the whole country's culture. I just can't help feeling weak when i hear Merisa's name cause i felt so lonely without them.

I've also realised the damges of staying in my comfort zone almost all my life.

Well... 13 more days to my return to Singapore.
13 more days to grow up.
It's now or never.

Sidenote:
The trail of destruction left by the typhoon is really devasting. I can't thank God enough for keeping us safe in Taipie cause the constant image of people crying, houses being blow away really break my heart. But the nation has been very united and have all raising funds for the victims within a short notice. Something that i really love about the taiwaneses... Their passion.

Here i am again.

2009-08-06T01:08:00.004+08:00

All pack up and having my usual 'silent moment' before i leave for Taipei for the next 20 days in less than 12 hours.

Though it's not the first time already but i'm still so nervous... I've never leave my beloved for so long.

Nervous because we've known each other's personality (& flaws) and didn't want to be hurt again.

And nervous because i have to leave my comfort zone, without my colleagues' guidance, my friends and laopo's support, and my Kai's loyal company.

It also suddenly occur to me that this will be the 1st time i won't be able to celebrate national day too... Something that i don't really care... Until now.

It suddenly dawned on me how much i've took the people and events around me how granted.
How blessed i am to have my colleagues guidance, their hugs and advice when i'm leaving. How blessed i am to have my Pa caring for my 1st long stay in a foreign land, to have friends calling/sms-ing me up to tell me to jiayou, and Kai to apply leave and spend the last few hours with me before i leave.

I supposed it's a blessing in disguise, an opportunity to really discover myself, and all the little things around me. That i'm not that alone after all.

I really look forward to traveling around taipei, immensing into the taiwan culture, visiting hong kong the first time of my life, getting 1st hand experience on how taiwan showbiz operates... And ultimately, to a better, mature me at the end of the journey.

I'll do you guys proud, and really enjoy this chance granted to me by God.
And i'll pray earnestly, for Your wisdom and faith to accompanied me through the whole journey..

Beautiful sunday

2009-07-27T22:51:00.007+08:00

It's almost a month from Yan's birthday celebration at Marina Barrage, but the photos we took never fail to take my breathe away...

You're looking at one of the most beautiful people in my life... :]
Kai must join next time okie?

跟过去做个了断让我的心去流浪

2009-07-20T17:09:00.007+08:00

打开车的窗
太阳在头上
公路的右方
无边的海洋
我怀疑我的梦想已经变了样
如果你有所期待很抱歉
我会让你失望

摸索着未来
却一直回头望
有些放不下
有些不想忘
我知道你会感伤但我已没有办法

总是要学着遗忘
学着疗伤
总要跌跌撞撞
才找到答案
你说我总是荒唐我承认我是荒唐
你以为我喜欢这样吗

过去美丽时光顺着海浪
流向未知远方
跟过去做个了断
让我的心去流浪
我要离开这地方

而我却一错再错
离开你也是错
我只能这样做
也请你原谅我这样做
我们曾经爱过
对我来说已经足够

总是要学着遗忘
学着疗伤
总要跌跌撞撞
才找到答案
你说我总是荒唐我承认我是荒唐
你以为我喜欢这样吗

过去美丽时光
顺着海浪
流向未知远方
跟过去做个了断
让我的心去流浪
我要离开这地方

而我却一错再错
离开你也是错
我只能这样做
也请你原谅我这样做
我们曾经爱过
对我来说已经足够

张震岳 - 公路

Sometimes i see and feel the changes from my past self.

But most of the time I'm still staring at the bits and pieces lying around me, everyday, everywhere i go.

Chengwei's sms to me:

"When I'm in a dark tunnel, I want to be with people who love me enough to sit in the darkness with me and not stand outside telling me how to get out."

I've saved it in my handphone and read it whenever i feel insecure.

Wallpaper

2009-07-07T23:49:00.005+08:00

I find the ability to stay cheerful harder these couple of days.
Or rather, whenever i see them...

It's really weird, because we've knew each other more than a decade, and has meeting up regularly over the years. But we our actual friendship span might be a year's worth. As much as I'm very appreciative for these friendships, we never ever get/want to close up the gap between us.

It has probably gotten to a point whereby all the opposite sex, including my own boyfriend, might be on better terms than them.
Having to watch them taking pics among themselves at every gatherings is becoming a torture to me. It's so tormenting that i feel like giving up on gatherings sometimes.

Sometimes i don't even know what's my existence there for... Watch my decade-old friends boasting on their bonds as i slipped into the background, hide in shame for my inability to bond?

I know we're all selective about the things around us. Who can be best friends with everybody? Heck, I have 3 best friends to understand this theory well enough. But this 'exclusive' selectivity has become so brutally raw... that it's so painful to watch. Sometimes I really wish i could dig a hole to temporary soothe the pain and awkwardness...

It's almost like a type of public display of affection among friends, only you're not part of it at all...

Lately, it has become so bad that i can almost feel depression at my fingertips, gradually spreading to hands, my lungs, my heart... and finally my brain.
I can't stop rubbing my hands. My fingers start to tremble. My breathing getting harder. My heartbeat getting faster, and my head starts to get irrational.

I can't stop looking at Kai, seeking for his gaze, to tell him how insecure and scared i am.
It's such a familiar feeling... A feeling that i still very much fear.
It's the very same feeling that once tore my mind and soul apart. I can almost feel this inner demon inside me, wanting to be unleash once again.

I really do not want to go back to the very same nightmare again.

I know my will/determination/attitude has always been much weaker than the others. Which is why i need to self-quarantine myself from the people mentioned above before it gets worse... Before i thoroughly lose the remaining friendships i have... Before my loved ones and me can't recongise myself again... I'm sorry...

Anxious and excited...

2009-06-18T00:16:00.002+08:00

Even though the H1N1 virus is still at large and now invading Thailand,
even though almost everybody i knew is canceling their overseas trips....

I WILL STILL MAKE MY WAY TO BANGKOK/CHIANGMAI!!!

Not just because i've invested a huge part of my savings for this trip,
or because i love to explore foreign lands with Kai
or because i desperately need a break,
or the fact that i might be due for Taiwan immediately after my return for a month

BECAUSE IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS SINCE I LAST STEPPED INTO CHIANGMAI.

I miss thailand, the thai culture food shopping massage...
Specifically i miss my family there.

Forgive me for being such a stubborn cow...
In case anything happen, i just wanna tell my Papa that i love you.
My sister to be brave.
My laopos to be heipi always.

BUT rest assured
I've brought lotsa masks, sanitizers, wet wipes... to minimise the risk of kanna-ing the 'lottery' ;]

Armed with 4 cameras and green hair and 1 giant guardian, BANGKOK / CHIANGMAI HERE I COME! :D

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

2009-06-13T04:32:00.006+08:00

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Lifehouse - Broken


If this's what i've wanted all this while, why am i so terrified this time round?
If i tell you deepest fears for this task, would you see me as lack of substance?
If i give in to my fears this time round, will i never gonna have the chance to transform?
If You've arranged for us to meet and help each other in this life, why is it going worse instead?

Maybe i'm just too burnt out too?

2009-06-03T00:09:00.005+08:00

And I'll be fine, you'll be fine
Is this fine? I'm not fine
Give me pieces, give me things to stay awake

What makes the want to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound
Say now you want to shake me too
Move down to me, slip into you

I...
I'M SO IN NEED OF BANGKOK & CHIANGMAI
BEFORE I SERIOUSLY BECOME A LIVING DEAD ZOMBIE
I'M SO TIRED
SO BURN OUT
YOU KNOW? LIKE A BURNT TOAST?????
BURNT TOAST ARE CANCEROUS.

I JUST WANNA SEE MY FAMILY, MOUNTAINS AND GREENS.

GIMME A BREAK!!!!!!!

GIMME THAILAND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me are you also a mushroom???!

2009-05-19T23:56:00.003+08:00

2 of my fave entries from the Memoirs of IMH (email from Jingyi):

Record II

A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm…that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."

Record III

IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats at the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.
The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to understand her behavior first.
So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted besides her everyday. The days go by...the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of word. After one solid month, the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"

I'm as jolly as a whale because Kai is finally back from his outfield and May is back from 5 months of dim sum land!!!!!!

1 month more to BANGKOK!!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!! GO GO GO!

早餐是Rock & Roll 的 style!!!

2009-05-15T01:22:00.004+08:00

YEAH!!! *hand sign*
我決定每天都要吃早餐，因為這就是Rock & Roll的style！

ROCK!!!!!

鎖住時間

2009-05-13T21:39:00.005+08:00

In a ever-changing world like ours... You can't seem to count on 'forever' anymore.
Who knows? here today, gone tomorrow.
But right now, i'm just really grateful we're about to see the end of these tedious 2 years...

Let's continue to jiayou. :]

像个没人爱的傻瓜

2009-04-16T23:36:00.003+08:00

I could never forget what Cheer said at her concert before she sang <失敗者的飛翔>：

"每個人都會經歷過失敗。。。別把自己的失敗放大，快樂其實就在不遠" (roughly lah)

It has been my motto for almost 2 weeks...
So far so good. :] Though sometimes i still tend to forget and be bothered by other people's joyous lives/friendships/careers/school/whatever's achievement...

I promise i'll try to 飛翔,

拳頭的世界如此大

2009-04-06T00:40:00.002+08:00

Went for Cheer Chen's concert with Cheryl last Saturday...

Really love and admire how she documents life with her music...
How she expresses her views on life,
encourage and inspired people with those tunes and lyrics and photos.
How her music makes me forget myself and the world for that very moment...
How her music preserve the good in life in a complicated world like ours.
How her music reignite the life in humanity.
How her music makes everything larger than life.

风筝飞叶落下
拳头的世界如此大
　　　　
线缠绕树长大
手掌留住了风
握不住一粒沙
　　　　
我的左手是猫右手是抚慰的力量
你让我轻轻的合掌唤来旧时光
闭上眼就地卷起海浪奔向纸月亮
追逐一头大雨中的狼
　　　　
蝴蝶飞浪退潮
手打开
不害怕匮乏

爱到... 疯癫

2009-04-03T14:14:00.002+08:00

空荡荡的房间
坟墓一样安静的夜
不肯死去的昨天
陪着我还在等谁

你一定没有变
一定还爱我对不对
眼角不能有泪水
下一秒你就会出现

爱到疯癫
苦的酸的无所谓雪
看背叛爬上你不遮掩的脸
我竟然还就觉得很美
爱到疯癫
伤了痛了都没感觉
你要我等你到哪个期限
我都奉陪

你下楼去买烟
然后迷路迷了几天
这样牵强的谎言
对我都是种慰藉
你一定没有变
一定还爱我像从前
嘴角不能再流血
等一下吻你不方便

爱到疯癫
苦的酸的无所谓
看背叛爬上你不遮掩的脸
我竟然还觉得很美

爱到疯癫
你要我等你到哪个期限
你要我再陪上多少尊严
我都奉陪·

爱到疯癫
苦的酸的无所谓
看背叛爬上你不遮掩的脸
我竟然还就觉得很美
爱到疯癫
伤了痛了都没感觉
你要我等你到哪个期限
我都奉陪

Wet with sunshine.

2009-03-25T00:15:00.006+08:00

Took our beloved Da Da the camera for a nice walk on a nice sunday afternoon.
We watched the beautiful colours of sunset as we sunbathed in its warm sunlight...

For that very moment, all my problems seem to have disappear for awhile... :]

Sometimes it's so hard to see.

2009-03-11T00:40:00.011+08:00

It's weird how misery is easier to relate to most people, as compared to heipiness.
You see, you hear, you feel it almost everywhere.
In movies, stories, and even songs... It's like the most prominent theme to work on.

With all these reminders around us, it almost make it reasonable to be unheipi most of the time. Isn't it?

世界那麼大
每天人來人往
但這麼還會有那麼多孤單受傷的人呢。。。？

Sometimes i just couldn't understand all these ridiculously hurtful acts.
I know my Father know and feel for their pain, i know He'll give them something else much more precious than what they've lost. I know it.

I couldn't help but to feel really sorry for my dear friends who've been badly hurt... And slowly let this insecurities eating me up again.

生命就是這樣嗎?

All i know is to follow that trail of faith from heaven above.

Stupid girl, you should have known...

2009-03-08T02:45:00.002+08:00

Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl I should have known, I should have known

I'm just a dreamer hit by a truckload of brutality and rejections...

慢舞

2009-02-27T18:57:00.007+08:00

I'm not one who'll usually pay attention to current affairs or poltics.
But came across with an article on Obama and his first lady's dance that really caught my attention...

To be watched and held carefully with such devotion...
In times like this... photos like these really make me feel hopeful.

Irony

2009-02-20T00:18:00.003+08:00

I wish i could break out from my comfort zone but i just can't do it.
I know you're disappointed... But so am i.

I wish i could be like them.

leaving in a few hours time..

2009-01-12T02:43:00.002+08:00

I am so nervous rather than being excited.
Been having stomach upset the whole day and farted the day away.
I know this is what i've been working my way up to for years...
I know i love the country so much and can't wait to move there.
I know i've always wanted to be part of this.
But now that it has arrived... I'm 即期待又怕受傷害.

I promised i'll do you guys proud and not be discouraged over the slightest thing.
I promised to do my very best and shine.
I promised to really enjoy myself and show them who i really are.

I promised not to cry.

I miss my dearie and lao pos and 6eians already. :(

God please bless me with your faith and wisdom, everything will go on smoothly.
GOD PLEASE BE WITH ME!!!

Couldn't sleep.

2009-01-05T05:32:00.005+08:00

2009 has barged its way in, whether i like it or not.
May's leaving in a few hours... And i'm leaving in a week's time.

I'm awfully glad i've managed to have a wonderful sat with the people i truly wanna love and appreciate before we left.

Was kinda emo during the birthday bbq initially (sorry to Tous who have to bear my childish complains and tearing) but i've really learnt to be humble, appreciative and contend with what i have this year.

Though i'm kinda awared of the plans for the surprise birthday bbq, i'm still entirely grateful for the effort, for the present, for the expenses spent, for the amount of sleep you guys have sacrifice for me.

The video you guys created for me and ab almost sent me to the verge of tearing up again. If i looked bo-chup, i'm really trying so so hard to contain my inner crying baby again.

I never realised how much people and effort it took to bake a cheese cake.

I never realised how much time and effort it took to shoot the process of the birthday surprise planning.

I never realised how much sleep you'll sacrifice just for a night of celebration.

I never realised i have friends who are willing to help and involve themselves so deeply into the plannings though our friendship are not as deeply rooted...

I never realised there will be friends whom I have just bonded a couple of months ago, yet are willing to invest more than the other friends whom i've known half my life.

I never realised how patient my laopos are always willing to be, when i'm dyeing my hair while we hardly have time together, or still patiently helped me picked out a new jacket when we were due at the bbq venue.

I never realised how blessed i am, to have a wonderful boyfriend who has sacrificed all his leave, money and sleep when he could be jolly well WOW-ing or just being his usual jolly slacker self. ;]

I never realised that i still have loved ones who'll always have faith and confience in me, when others are shaking their head at my lack of disabilities and i'm crying my ass out as usual.

This year's birthday wish...
All i really want is to be a more confidence and faithful me, mend all the broken relationships in my life and treasure the precious friends and family i have.

Let's promise to walk this life together, shall we?

Don't go yet 2008.

2008-12-31T23:43:00.003+08:00

5 more days to may's departure to hongkong for 6 long months. :(
8 more days to my 22nd birthday.
12 - 2 months to my departure to taipei.
5 mins to 2009.

Time is flying so fast that words could no longer express my desperation. There's no time for my annual resolutions / re-cap / birthday list at all. And the fact that my work is piling tremendously and my dearest May is leaving for Hong Kong in a couple of days really make me very anxious. :( Suddenly what i needed most now is really sufficient time to make proper arrangement for my stuffs...

It's a well known fact that 2008 is a rather disrupting year...
But at the very last 5 mins of 2008, i'm just awfully glad that i still have my beloved lao-pos, family and friends (especially the re-new friendship ;]), and last but not least my beloved dear by my side.

And i know it must be You, Father, for your faith and grace and i pray for Your never ending love.

Heipi new year pull your year!

Right here, right now, i just wish for time to stop

2008-12-24T02:18:00.004+08:00

It's been a month since i last updated this space.
Though its partly because i've been refraining from dumping my unheipi thoughts on this blog again, this December has never been this busy, demanding and crazy..!

Yoga's CSS TV recording and Fahenheit's 1st ever concert in Singapore!

Though i've not really contributed much to the preparation work, i'm really glad that i was involved and witnessed the whole process first hand.
I'm just so overwhelmed by all the effort, preparation that were not seen by the public eyes.
Meeting my taiwan colleagues has gained myself a new goal/motivation - to be as efficient and comfortable as them 1 day.....

Anyway it's officially Christmas's Eve now.
My favourite day on the calendar. :D

And all i want for Christmas this year is to mend all the broken relationships in my life.
Can we ever get back together again?

Time is running out.

At times i think we're all drifters...

2008-11-19T22:18:00.006+08:00

'
Can't believe the end of November will be here soon...
Feels like i've 1 less year to the finding myself.
Though i think i've had a number of valuable lessons this year, i'm still not quite satisfied with my performance/accomplishments.

I know life has never and will never be easy and simple...
I know self-discovery is a journey and no one said it'll be a short one.
I just never thought it'll be so insecure and tedious just to have a healthy self esteem.

How do i move on to the next level?
How do i evolve to my better self?

Give me back my 21st year on earth.

Meaning of 老婆

2008-11-04T01:02:00.003+08:00

Just hung up the phone with May and Yan and i have this huge need to document my current feeling:

I LOVE MY LAO POS SO MUCH!!!
Thank you God, for this priceless, strong friendship with 3 of the greatest girls on earth... :)

Thank you for listening, laughing, crying with me for 8 years... For never giving up on me.

Though we'll soon be seeing less of each other, you guys will never be replaceable in my heart.

Still pretty much a noobie...

2008-10-21T00:17:00.006+08:00

But photos (even lousy ones) of my favourite people still manage to cheer me up pretty well...
Hope they did the same to you too.

That's life?

2008-10-20T23:42:00.004+08:00

I've been very negative in the past, but i think it's about time to thank God for my contended (personal) life!

I have great lao pos, father, the very few friends who entertain my nonsense, nintendo ds, i pod, bed, macbook and a wonderful Kai.

And of cause God. I'm truly blessed by Him.

Though when it comes to my working life... It's seem to be going from vague to ultimate blur.

I'm not sure if it's Pistacho-kind-of-abstract, but right now it's kinda like a puddle of brown paint.

How har...?
My motivation that has brought me through 4 years of hell... has... erm brought 'hell' to a whole new level!

I'm really tired... And lost.
Yet blessed. :]

他安靜了...

2008-10-09T23:11:00.005+08:00

沉默是他最後的温柔是因为他太爱你

但你又知道什麼...?

Disappointed...
Only because i thought we ought to know this betrayal better than anyone else.

I miss...

2008-09-25T23:39:00.003+08:00

Xi Men Ding
Standing on the roadside eating my favorite street snacks (MEE SUA XXL CHICKEN......)
the stand-on-the-right-or-kanna-fine escalator
the nice lift lady (電梯上樓嘍）
the hokkien-hakka mrt
the sincere Taiwanese
the TV channels (including those porno ones)
shopping!!!
士林夜市
rose records
the S.H.E jasmine tea that i drank almost everyday
sunset at 淡水
old streets/buildings with nice graffiti
the effort to stay environment friendly........... And more

Can i stay / work / married to / migrate to Taipei please...?
I'm missing Taipei so much that i'm going crazy.

What a wonderful day....

2008-09-10T00:00:00.003+08:00

Had a hard fall on my way to work
Mud all over my pants
Spend the whole day not at my seat
Disappointed that i couldn't even spend the last 10 hours peacefully
Pissed off with myself for never being able to perfect my work
Just when you think the fire couldn't get anymore stronger
Here comes another mega oil spill from the unhelpful (yet again).

All that helps me keep in sane are the photos,
and that verse that i repetitively reminded myself of...
Before i'll be gone.

The line between...

2008-08-29T00:13:00.002+08:00

creativity and lame
good tolerance and no initiative
hard working and trying-too-hard
humility and low confidence

is so fine that everytime i try to reposition myself,
you made it seem so meaningless.

Who would know staying positive and confident would be so difficult for some people...?

Who are you to decide when you hardly want to know me...?

dusk and summer

2008-08-25T23:12:00.003+08:00

It's been really cold lately...
Would have enjoy the weather more if i have more cold wear / hoodies.
It got really hazy last saturday. So much that it felt as if we're entering another dimension.
Love the chilling weather...
Love the need to snuggle or find warmth from your jacket.
It's weird but i actually found peace when i'm walking through the haze...
Wouldn't been more romantic if it's not the 7th month and let our minds wondered off.
But still... it was equally fun with my beloved Tous!

Wonder if it'll be this cold in Taipei too...?

Working towards a better me...

Just say good night... Don't say good bye

2008-07-26T02:21:00.004+08:00

One of the few nicer photos from Mee the Supersampler cause my aim sucks really badly... :/

This reminded me how blessed i actually am to have my 3 lao pos *hold their waists tight*

still waiting...

2008-07-26T01:23:00.005+08:00

This past 1 year, I've did / come across so much things that everything still very much feels like a dream. I've concluded that we've all taken the record labels' promo people for granted (especially bad times like this). It's not the least glamorous or easy as people often thought lor!

But having worked for almost a year in my dream company, i'm finally getting some recognition (or direction)! From someone whom i really didn't expect at all.

It's been so long since i had this blissful feeling again.
I've almost forgotten how it feels like actually.
It's simple praise like this that really keeps me going.

Thank my beloved Tous, kai and family for listening to all those negative rantings almost everyday. Thank God. :)

I'm still waiting / trying to transform. Not that i hate / dislike how i am right now... But i really wish to be a better me. But how much longer will it take for me to transform? 5 years? 10 years?

I want to surprise my beloveds.
I want to surprise myself.

under the grey sky...

Goodbye immortallygreysky :]

B(lue) day.

Waiting, Hoping Chasing, Drowning.

Wall of encouragement

All I want for Christmas...

Hello lady

You revisit the same place where you left off.

Love

1 Corinthians 13

With faith, with faith...

加油selina！

再会, 永远的女孩

Happy birthday 老爸!

Hoping.

Stuffs you learn anyway in life (whether you like it or not)

To Isabel:

Count my blessing #2

Bonjour Paris

Count my blessing #1

剝離了回憶 開始尋找孤單 找到了孤單 就不怕寂寞了。。。

Our common mistakes

Prisoner of time

怎麼這世界每個人都愛別人，不愛自己？

謝謝你的美好

需要點時間沈澱

旅行的意義

失眠

Sunny days are hard to come back lately.

Note to self...

風沙星辰 永遠相伴

Counting down to S.H.E is the ONE Taipei concert!

A practice

We're just partly cloudy... right?

That's my boy / pa.

就算下星期不去英國，遠方的你還是找不到我。

Love makes the ride worthwhile.

愛而為一

We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.

I wonder when the day will come when I'll be no longer constantly trying to prove myself to you and myself.

Despite all our differences...

SHERO is LOVE!!!

Miss communicating with each and every one of camera...

I could go on with my day and act like everything is okay. But as my life goes on it hurts more in every way.

Vampire without teeth

Where the wild things are... is where i wanna be.

Our most beloved Chao Gui (black jelly in thai)...

I just wish we weren't so far apart.

Can you put a price in your dream? (Tony, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus)

Hello Tokyo!

There i was, here i am.

Merry + lonely christmas...

Crash & Burn

Hello Jakarta!

你知道什麼, 我又知道什麼。。。

If it's just you and me...

愛而為一

Having a blue day...

The key to life.

What happen.

Eat what you see... See what you eat!

It's ironic...

My egg basket...

without you it's just a waste of time.

It is here!

Wish you were here...

失落的國度

Fly away

酒後心聲

Here i am again.

Beautiful sunday

跟过去做个了断 让我的心去流浪

Wallpaper

Anxious and excited...

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

Maybe i'm just too burnt out too?

Excuse me are you also a mushroom???!

早餐是Rock & Roll 的 style!!!

鎖住時間

像个没人爱的傻瓜

剝離了回憶開始尋找孤單找到了孤單就不怕寂寞了。。。

風沙星辰　永遠相伴

跟过去做个了断让我的心去流浪